The Components of a Family Faith Curriculum

April 21, 2020 Mike StPierre

In my last post, I shared the why behind our family’s decision to create its own faith curriculum. To sum it up, we found that we simply couldn’t rely solely on our local parish or Catholic schools to provide what our kids needed. The inconsistencies in preaching, teaching and programming were just too great.

What we learned in the process is that the Church has invited us all along to make our home a “domestic church”. That is to say, we finally embraced what we were called to be all along. Our home would become the primary place of formation. This would then be complemented by our church and schools.

Covid-19 challenged us to see what we could do at home as our local churches have been closed. As a father, it’s been a wonderful opportunity for me to learn (again) what it means to be the spiritual father of our family.

“Thus the little domestic Church, like the greater Church, needs to be constantly and intensely evangelized: hence its duty regarding permanent education in the faith…the family, like the Church, ought to be a place where the Gospel is transmitted and from which the Gospel radiates…the future of evangelization depends in great part on the Church of the home.”

— Saint John Paul II

As the saying goes, “necessity is the mother of invention”. I guess we’ve become more of discoverers than inventors. I look at this process as one of curation rather than creation. We’ve pieced together a loose system that works for us. Will it work for you? Probably not in its same format. You’ll need to curate for yourself. I think the key is to be intentional and tweak and adjust as you go.

The Lenses

Anyhow, back to the family faith curriculum. You’ve heard of why we created this. Today, I’ll share with you exactly what it looks like each week. Remember the lenses through which we’ve crafted this curriculum:

A lens of Truth, Goodness & Beauty.
An emphasis on classical things.
Variety.
Personal ownership.
A nightly practice.
Scripture.

The Day-by-Day Names

With these lenses in mind, my wife and I decided to then look at each day of the week and “assign” a them to each day. We also decided to brand each day, making it easy for the kids to remember our point of emphasis. Here are the days:

Marian Monday: a focus on Mary, Marian spirituality and Marian practices
Theological Tuesday: a focus on a classical theological concept of text
Works of Mercy Wednesday: a focus on the importance of doing good and practicing mercy
Thankful Thursday: a focus on Divine Mercy and gratitude
Free Friday: typically an “open” night to do whatever feels right
Saturday & Sunday: a focus on beauty

The Day-by-Day Activities

Now we’ll look at exactly what we do in each night’s time of prayer:

Marian Monday: We pray the rosary. Sometimes, to mix it up, we might have a slideshow up on the tv with images of Mary, forming a sort of Visio Divina. When our kids were younger, we started out with just a decade of the rosary. Over time, we were able to cover the entire rosary.
Theological Tuesday: On Tuesdays, I like to find some rich theological text, poem or excerpt for us to look at and discuss. This might be a poem by Chesterton, a quote from Sheen or a phrase from Augustine. This night is very profound but also brief. We might “wrap” this with everyone going around and offering prayers for others.
Works of Mercy Wednesday: On Wednesdays, we might write to our sponsor child, call the grandparents, or write notes to people who are alone. The key is to help the kids see a world bigger than just our home and our family.
Thankful Thursday: On Thursdays, we do things related to gratitude. This could be praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet or just going around and praying for people for whom we are thankful. The key is to emphasize gratitude to God in very specific ways.
Free Friday: On Fridays, we typically make pizza and maybe watch a movie. Prayers are typically brief and we go with the flow.
Saturday & Sunday: on Saturday, we’ll hand the Bible to one of the kids and invite them to find the Sunday Gospel reading. This teaches them the skill of Bible literacy. Then, we’ll talk about the upcoming Sunday’s Gospel and what it means to each of us. On Sunday, we might look at a famous icon (emphasis on beauty) and discuss its meaning.

As I’ve stated before, this is a work in progress. This framework is a starting point. It’s not meant to be so structured so that it feels tight. Rather, it frees us up to be together as a family of faith.

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Outstanding Guests, Practical Tips

how to Create a Family Faith Curriculum

April 13, 2020 Mike StPierre

My wife Cary and I have been married for nearly 22 years. It took little effort for us to pray at night before bed. It took a lot more work to develop a system for educating our kids in the faith.

Let me explain.

“Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored and that specifies both its dignity and responsibility: family, become what you are!”

— St. John Paul II

For many years, I’d say 10-15 or so, we relied on outside resources for teaching the faith. Catholic schools and Catholic Churches were our primary means of instruction. We saw those as the best “vehicles” for faith instruction. Our approach was simple enough- we would send our kids to Catholic schools, attend weekly Mass and then complement those with our own at-home example. Sprinkle in praying before meals and emphasizing good morals and we were done.

Except that it didn’t work.

You see, we had it all backwards. We thought that the outside structures would be enough. Over time, we found our hearts broken by the Church we love. Scandal and corruption became common. Schools closed. The clever “system” we had relied on was no longer enough. We still loved being Catholic but realized, painfully, that our Church simply could not provide all that we needed.

A Sobering Reality

And, this part is harder to admit- our kids really weren’t grabbing hold of the faith. They knew Jesus but didn’t really know Him- if you know what I mean. I started to acknowledge that if we didn’t make some adjustments, they would likely leave the Church and the faith.

For many years, Cary urged us to “do more” at home. I would deflect, pointing out others who did far less than we did. But she was right as converts often are.

It wasn’t until we moved to a new home in a new city with new parishes that we fully embraced what the Second Vatican Council meant by the family as the “domestic church” (Lumen Gentium). Then, unplanned by us, the coronavirus struck. Our new approach was all we had. Our “curriculum” is essentially a curated system for teaching our kids the faith that we love and want them to embrace.

Our Inspiration

Two resources that have been tremendously helpful are Dr. John Cuddeback’s LifeCraft website and the Messy Family Project by Alicia and Mike Hernon. John places a lot of emphasis on the role that “home” plays in faith formation, with a nod to classical concepts. Alicia and Mike take a practical approach, weaving in their experience of parenting 10 kids (!) with their faith. If you haven’t spent some time on either website, pour yourself a cup of coffee and you’ll be in for a treat.

We’ve been inspired to create our own system, not to detract from the model of our own family. I grew up Catholic and my parents provided a wonderful example to me and my two brothers. Cary grew up in a home without faith and later became Catholic. Where we live in Bethlehem, PA, there are few supports for Catholic families. No intentional Catholic communities. No charismatic prayer movements. No couples ministry. We have tons of great people and wonderful parishes but if you want to be intentional with your family, you have to be crafty. For a while, I complained about this. Now, I accept it as Fr. Thomas Judge, CM described it as the “providence of everyday life”.

The Components

Here are the components of our Family Faith Curriculum. Keep in mind that these work for us. You’ll need to try things out and make some modifications as you go. We start with lenses and in later posts I’ll detail the exact things we do each day.

A lens of Truth, Goodness & Beauty. Bishop Barron talks a lot about this as did Hans Urs von Balthasar. We make sure that each week, we are talking about and emphasizing topics that deal with the intellect, with justice and with art.
An emphasis on classical things. Whenever we can, we use original sources, obscure readings and old things.
Variety. Kids need this as do we as parents. Variety is key so that you don’t become stale. Variety also allows you to pivot when you feel that you need to. Variety lends to flexibility.
Personal ownership. We don’t want a curriculum that is passive. Rather, we want to be training our kids to know the Lord and practice the skills that are necessary for fruitful discipleship.
A nightly practice. We do something prayerful every night. This provides the family with an anchor they can rely on. The average night’s activity is about 15 minutes.
Scripture. We want our kids to be touching a Bible as often as possible and over time, learn to love Scripture.

In future posts, I’ll detail what our Family Faith Curriculum currently looks like, with detailed examples of each day’s points of emphasis. This can change from month to month but it will at least provide you with a glimpse. Then, you can take this framework and customize it to your family.

Seven Simple Ways to Sit Still

July 23, 2018 Mike StPierre

It’s not easy to sit still. Think about it. When was the last time that you sat comfortably and just looked out a window, day dreaming about something?

If you’re like most of us, the urge to check your phone can quickly overwhelm what might have been a quiet moment. That daydream? Out the window with another glance at Facebook or Instagram.

It may be deeper than this. Sure, we’re addicted to our smartphones. What if there are other things at play besides this?

In this post, we’ll examine the causes of our difficulty in sitting still for prayer. Then, we will map out seven simple ways to help you become an expert when it comes to sitting still.

The Causes

When you want to have a quiet time, it’s important to be able to sit still. No fidgeting. No distractions. This is of course, harder than it sounds. From my experience, there are four causes to our inability to sit still:

Distraction: if you’re home alone, it’s much easier to sit still. If you’re in a church full of hundreds of people, not so much. If there’s a lot of noise around you, sitting still will be difficult.
Access to gadgets: what’s close by? Is your phone in your hand? If so, you may be tempted to check your email quickly. Social media might be calling out your name. To the degree that your devices are within hand’s reach, you may find sitting still difficult.
Lack of transitions: most of use need time to “ease into” prayer. Don’t assume that, just because you are trying to sit still, that it will come easily. In our solutions list (see below), I’ll help you with this.
Fear: prayer involves vulnerability. When you go to sit still and have your quiet time with the Lord, you’re entering uncharted territory. God may speak to you. You may have a thought that is unformed. An inspiration may come to your heart. For most of us, this is scary.

With the causes of our discomfort with sitting still in hand, now we can turn to seven simple solutions (or ways) that will help you to sit still. This list is not meant to be exhaustive but purely practical. I personally use these “tricks” and believe me, they work!

The Solutions

Begin with a phrase. A transition phrase, even if said only in your head, can be a useful “nudge” into sitting still. Using the same phrase can trigger your brain and heart that you are entering into quiet time. I like to use the ancient formula, “O God come to my assistance, Lord make haste to help me.”
Notice your breathing. Just taking notice of your breath will let you know if you are anxious or calm. Pay attention to your body and begin to breath slowly and with intention.
Use a countdown. If sitting still is very (read, VERY) difficult for you, you may try to simply close your eyes and count down from ten to one. This has nothing to do with hypnosis and everything to do with calming your busy mind. There’s something about an old-fashioned countdown that contributes to a peaceful mind.
Set aside your devices. As Jesus says in Matthew 18:8, “If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.” Could the modern day “hand” be your iPhone? I’m not advocating for you to throw away an $800 device. I am saying that your smartphone is probably too tempting and should be set aside while you pray.
Use a journal. A journal is a powerful tool when it comes to sitting still. It helps get things out of your head. It maps progress. It lets you know that you are thinking through issues. It can be a way to write out your prayers.
Fix your eyes. Some of us benefit from a visual focal point when we pray. This may be a crucifix on the wall or an icon on a table in front of you. You might have a Rosary in your hands that you can look at. If you are a “visual prayer”, try to increase your ability to sit still with a focal point for your eyes.
Close your eyes. This may seem counter to #6 but there are just times when you need to close your eyes. I find this particularly true when I’m trying to pray in church or at a public event (i.e. a conference). Closing your eyes is an act of surrender to God, letting Him bring you deeper into intimacy and stillness.

For a bonus strategy, consider using your Bible as a tool for helping you to still still. A short passage can provide context for your quiet time. If you’re familiar with Lectio Divina, this technique can work quite well, making sense of a passage and integrating it into your prayer. It’s always a good idea to have a Bible close by when you are trying to sit still.

You Can Do This

Sitting still isn’t easy. With some practice however, it is within reach. God desires a rich and fulfilling prayer life for each of us. By sitting still, you’re giving God the space he needs to transform your life and build confidence in your heart. You can do this. God can do this in you.

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Is Lent Stressing You Out?

February 18, 2018 Mike StPierre

It’s Lent once again and you’ve probably made anywhere from 2-3 Lenten “resolutions”. Catholics have a love-hate relationship with these kinds of Lenten activities.

On one hand, we feel excited about doing something new for and with God. We secretly feel that maybe, just maybe, this Lent we will draw closer to the Lord. Will this be the year when I have a breakthrough? Will this year be any different from previous years?

On the other hand, it can feel like drudgery. The fasting bothers us. The alms giving only reminds us that we aren’t that generous in the first place. By the time Easter arrives, we are more relieved than anything.

The other weird part of Lent is that we are, most of us anyways, pretty awful at making resolutions. Think of the last New Year’s Resolution that actually stuck past February 1- I thought so.

I’m no different. Some years during Lent have gone really well, others not so much.

This year, I’ve decided to give something up that’s a bit out of the ordinary: podcasts. Hear me out. I drive a lot of carpools each week, getting my kids to and from school and sports practices. There’s a lot of time in the car and sometimes it feels like a part time job.

To fill the space, I listen to podcasts. A typical week might offer me 20-25 podcasts. I listen to casts about politics, sports, productivity, faith and everything in between.

So far, my Lenten sacrifice has been difficult but good.

A bigger question is whether your Lenten sacrifices are stressing you out. Are they? What’s behind that stress?

A bit of friction might not be a bad thing. This might show you that you’ve been “soft” in the months (years?) leading up to Lent. It might also be God telling you to sacrifice a bit more and to hang in there. Sacrifice isn’t meant to be a cakewalk after all.
You may have set yourself up for failure. Is your Lenten sacrifice unrealistic? Have you taken on more than 1-2?

My advice would be to sacrifice only one thing for Lent. The key though is to make it a meaningful sacrifice. For me, it’s podcasts. For you, it may be something else.

Finally, it’s ok to make a “mid-game adjustment” during Lent. Pray for the wisdom and discernment to know what God wants for you to do during Lent. After all, a Lenten sacrifice is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself.

Is a Notebook Your Best Productivity Investment?

April 10, 2017 Mike StPierre

Everywhere you look, people are using old-fashioned notebooks. It's not that they've given up their smartphones but that they are using notebooks to bring some analogue into their daily lives.

A smartphone, complemented by a portable notebook is a powerful combo for everyday productivity.

I have been a hybrid paper-digital user for years. While Google Calendar keeps my "hard landscape" events in place, I find there's nothing like paper and pen to navigate the nitty-gritty details of my daily work. This includes meeting notes, doodles and notes from phone calls.

David Sax, in his best-selling book The Revenge of Analog: Real Things and Why They Matter, details the rise in popularity of such notebooks like Moleskine and Baron Fig:

“Numerous studies have shown that handwriting notes is simply better for engagement, information retention, and mental health than is writing on digital devices.”

When you write things down, your brain activates on a deeper level than if you just think something or type it into your computer.

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This is the planning page we suggest using every day.

Moleskine isn't the only popular brand of notebook. There's also the Bullet Journal which has given folks a clever way to stay organized. Consider it "stylized productivity".

The bottom line- notebooks are back and they're cool once again.

There's one catch: what if you want all of the benefits of a fancy notebook but would rather save the $15 that often goes with it?

After all, consider the costs of the most popular "in" notebooks:

Bullet Journal: $24.95
Baron Fig: $15-65

There are some other options. You can use an inexpensive notebook. You can create your own system as David Seah has done. Or, you can use a whiteboard to get your creative, handwriting juices flowing.

The most important idea is this- connecting paper with digital is a smart move. You just need to find an expression of this marriage that works for your style and your budget.

Emergent Leader Podcast Episode 16: Farewell to 2015

December 3, 2015 Mike StPierre

Do you wait until January 1 to prepare for the "new year"? In this cast I invite you to consider using the rest of December to look back and then look ahead at the coming year. I also suggest seven worthwhile resolutions that will (promise!) set you up for success.

Enjoy the cast!