My wife Cary and I have been married for nearly 22 years. It took little effort for us to pray at night before bed. It took a lot more work to develop a system for educating our kids in the faith.
Let me explain.
“Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored and that specifies both its dignity and responsibility: family, become what you are!”
For many years, I’d say 10-15 or so, we relied on outside resources for teaching the faith. Catholic schools and Catholic Churches were our primary means of instruction. We saw those as the best “vehicles” for faith instruction. Our approach was simple enough- we would send our kids to Catholic schools, attend weekly Mass and then complement those with our own at-home example. Sprinkle in praying before meals and emphasizing good morals and we were done.
Except that it didn’t work.
You see, we had it all backwards. We thought that the outside structures would be enough. Over time, we found our hearts broken by the Church we love. Scandal and corruption became common. Schools closed. The clever “system” we had relied on was no longer enough. We still loved being Catholic but realized, painfully, that our Church simply could not provide all that we needed.
A Sobering Reality
And, this part is harder to admit- our kids really weren’t grabbing hold of the faith. They knew Jesus but didn’t really know Him- if you know what I mean. I started to acknowledge that if we didn’t make some adjustments, they would likely leave the Church and the faith.
For many years, Cary urged us to “do more” at home. I would deflect, pointing out others who did far less than we did. But she was right as converts often are.
It wasn’t until we moved to a new home in a new city with new parishes that we fully embraced what the Second Vatican Council meant by the family as the “domestic church” (Lumen Gentium). Then, unplanned by us, the coronavirus struck. Our new approach was all we had. Our “curriculum” is essentially a curated system for teaching our kids the faith that we love and want them to embrace.
Our Inspiration
Two resources that have been tremendously helpful are Dr. John Cuddeback’s LifeCraft website and the Messy Family Project by Alicia and Mike Hernon. John places a lot of emphasis on the role that “home” plays in faith formation, with a nod to classical concepts. Alicia and Mike take a practical approach, weaving in their experience of parenting 10 kids (!) with their faith. If you haven’t spent some time on either website, pour yourself a cup of coffee and you’ll be in for a treat.
We’ve been inspired to create our own system, not to detract from the model of our own family. I grew up Catholic and my parents provided a wonderful example to me and my two brothers. Cary grew up in a home without faith and later became Catholic. Where we live in Bethlehem, PA, there are few supports for Catholic families. No intentional Catholic communities. No charismatic prayer movements. No couples ministry. We have tons of great people and wonderful parishes but if you want to be intentional with your family, you have to be crafty. For a while, I complained about this. Now, I accept it as Fr. Thomas Judge, CM described it as the “providence of everyday life”.
The Components
Here are the components of our Family Faith Curriculum. Keep in mind that these work for us. You’ll need to try things out and make some modifications as you go. We start with lenses and in later posts I’ll detail the exact things we do each day.
A lens of Truth, Goodness & Beauty. Bishop Barron talks a lot about this as did Hans Urs von Balthasar. We make sure that each week, we are talking about and emphasizing topics that deal with the intellect, with justice and with art.
An emphasis on classical things. Whenever we can, we use original sources, obscure readings and old things.
Variety. Kids need this as do we as parents. Variety is key so that you don’t become stale. Variety also allows you to pivot when you feel that you need to. Variety lends to flexibility.
Personal ownership. We don’t want a curriculum that is passive. Rather, we want to be training our kids to know the Lord and practice the skills that are necessary for fruitful discipleship.
A nightly practice. We do something prayerful every night. This provides the family with an anchor they can rely on. The average night’s activity is about 15 minutes.
Scripture. We want our kids to be touching a Bible as often as possible and over time, learn to love Scripture.
In future posts, I’ll detail what our Family Faith Curriculum currently looks like, with detailed examples of each day’s points of emphasis. This can change from month to month but it will at least provide you with a glimpse. Then, you can take this framework and customize it to your family.