The Case for Doing Less This Weekend

Weekends are what most of us live for.  They are often seen as a break from mundane, unexciting jobs.  Most people fill them with yardwork, chores and errands galore.  Sleeping in, staying up late, shopping... fill in the blank as to how you and your family typically use your weekend.

The only problem... (drumroll) is that some of us fill our weekends, supposed to be a time for rest, with so many small crumbs that the weekend itself becomes stressful.  The crumbs add up after a while.  

Errands do make you tired- and use gas. 

Shopping is exhausting- and uses money. 

Yardwork is fun for some- but not for most. 

So here's your homework for today and any weekend- be more intentional about it. Do less.  Breathe.  Take a nap.  Do what makes you happy this weekend instead of what you think you should be doing (by that subtle voice in your head informed by popular culture or social media).   

Speaking digitally, I find that there are times when I want to be up to speed on the news and on what my friends are "up to" online.  Weekends though- I just want to be with Cary and the kids.  I typically tweet less and just use Buffer to automate my online content.  That way, I can sit on the porch and play a game with the kids, go for a leisurely drive or wash the car in the driveway.  It's intentional, light and relaxed.   

What are the benefits of doing less?  First, you'll stress less.  Second, you'll be more fully present to those you care about.  Third, you'll spend less money because you're not doing what someone else tells you you "should".  Fourth... I could keep going but you get the picture.   

So go ahead.  Enjoy yourself this weekend and all throughout the week.   

It's ok to do less if it helps you to "be more" in the other parts of your life.  

Two Ways to Savor the Simple Things in Life

I asked a friend of mine about his plans for the summer and he replied with a list that read like this:

1 trip to Hungary (2 weeks)

1 trip fishing with the boys (1 week) 

4 weeks of summer camp in town (4 weeks) 

1 family reunion (1 weekend) 

I was tired just listening to his schedule and when he asked about my intentions for July and August, I shrugged and said, "Mostly small things with the kids... maybe a weekend away here or there."  

That's been our summer- a wonderful string of small things.  Compared to my buddy's itinerary, my list seems paltry but as I reflect on the kind of summer it's been, (I just can't help but measure things!)  I can't help but smile.  Our highlights have included:

• sleeping in past 5am
• watching four seasons of Lost with our 13 year old
• writing 45 pages of my dissertation
• going mountain biking with my 10 year old
• taking my daughters out to the diner for a dad-daughter string of dates
• going for long drives with Cary as our 3 year old fell asleep in his car seat
• babysitting a neighborhood 5 year old and welcoming him into our family
• painting the porch (just because)
• spending extra time in morning prayer
• getting in shape

An impressive list?  Probably not to the world.  But to me?  Absolutely priceless.  Savoring is like that- whether the rose is small or in full bloom- it still smells good.   

Two quotes come to mind when I think of this rose-smelling aspect of everyday life:

There is no better means of attainment to the spiritual life
Than by continually beginning again...  Saint Francis de Sales

and

Slow down and enjoy life.  It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.  Eddie Cantor

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TWEET THIS: There is no better means of attainment to the spiritual life Than by continually beginning again- Saint Francis de Sales #speakdigital

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The real trick is this: how do you cultivate a habit of savoring life when you are always connected and online?  I suggest first to stop comparing yourself to others.  Again, compared to my friend's summer plans, mine look pathetic.  The thing is that I could care less since I live for an audience of One (God).   

Second, slow down.  Walk slower.  Eat slower.  Drive slower.  Each of these will help you to cultivate mindfulness and gradually unplug occasionally from technology.   

I know several very holy persons. Each is very adept with technology and each is very good at savoring the simple things of life.   

You really can have it both ways. 

Photo courtesy of fdp

Which Details Are You Noticing at Work?

Herb is my neighbor and I've noticed that his car is missing for each of the past three Sundays.  Not one to get up early on a weekday, I put two and two together and realize that he's gone fishing.  Not an expert in marine science, I then wonder if the fish are more hungry on a Sunday.

But I digress...

This is interesting to me.  A friend taking time to do something that matters to him.  No fanfair.  No big announcement. Just something he does.   

This happens at work all of the time.  You pass a teacher in the hallway who is especially chipper... or blue ... or stressed.  This is life after all and teachers and school folks are hardly immune to the heaviness of life.  School leaders too. 

It's a Sunday in July as I'm writing this.  I'm on the porch and noticing the birds outside.  Very loud today.  The sun is kissing a large ornamental grass by the front walkway and some perrenials are about to explode with color by the driveway.  I'm noticing things.  

Mornings seem like a more clear time to "see" than at other times but maybe that's just me. 

What are you noticing?  It may be at work with folks heading off for vacation or kids "reporting for duty" at summer school.  Or, it may be when you get home after a long day and your wife isn't smiling because something's gone wrong during the day.  Notice these things.  Take a short, subtle inventory in your mind. 

Noticing takes time.  It takes humility.  It should, ideally, nudge us to action of some kind.  This might be a note in someone's mailbox to encourage them or picking up the phone to tell someone you care about them.  Something like that but in your own way and for (and with) your people.

What are you noticing today?  How will it nudge you to greater leadership, attentiveness and action? 

Simplifying Your Prayer Life

Most people I know want to pray more.  Their hearts are in the right places but... life gets in the way.  You know the feeling when you put your head down at night and realize that an entire 24 hours went by without even thinking about God, much less praying to Him. 

Not a good feeling. 

The good news is that you can reconnect with God any time.  By taking out some of the spiritual clutter, that reconnection process is much easier.   

So how do you do it?  That is, simplify your re-entry into conversations (both listening and talking) with God?   

1. Name your space. Where will you pray?  In the car?  On the train?  In your home office?  While working out?  Say it out loud, write it down- whatever, but be sure you are clear where you intend to pray.  Some folks find that a church on the way home from work is ideal.  Find what/where works for you.
2. Claim your space.  Once you've decided where you feel good praying, make it your own.  In my house, my home office is a very prayerful space. I have a prayer corner, some candles and lots of images that remind me of God and encourage me to be prayerful.  (see below)
3. Limit your inputs.  Go for small "wins" here.  Rather than deciding you'll read all of Thomas Merton's spiritual classics, set aside one, just one.  Make it a point to read with focus, slowness and intention.  The simpler your spiritual diet, the better.  If you're not sure where to begin, go for the daily Mass readings that Catholics use.  

I could say so much about prayer but at the end of the day, the old Nike saying holds true, "just do it" and then see what happens.  Hopefully, it's a simple, whole experience that brings you closer and closer to God. 

What works for you when you need to simplify your spiritual life? 

Photo courtesy of JM 

Noise Levels and Work: Finding Your Sweet Spot

What's your optimal level of noise? 

I have a friend named William who needs absolute silence when he studies.  He goes into a room, closes the door and reads.  Another friend, Sharon, can work with a higher level of noise.  Her preferred space for work is the coffee shop close to her house. 

I'm probably somewhere in the middle.  I don't mind some noise but I need space to zone out and get things done.

How about you? 

At what point do you slow down and see your work suffering as a result of the noise around you?  It could be a result of coworkers interruptions or enabled chimes on your laptop.  It could also be a result of the noise in your own head- distractions are something we all deal with.

In this way, work is similar to prayer in that we all have to find ways to dial back our internal noise.   For me, my role at work is often a distraction and one that I have to "work" to keep in place.  

Here's the deal- first, you'll want to identify the ideal levels of noise for your work productivity.   Are you more like Sharon or Will?  Or, maybe you're like me and you don't mind a bit of background noise?  Pay attention to the times in your week when you are especially productive.  How much noise was there?

Second, let's discuss some strategies for embracing your ideal noise levels.  Here are my three recommendations:

•  Stop worrying so much about what others think about you when you work.  After all, the bottom line is to produce good work that matters to the organization.  If you work in a company that allows headphones, go for it.  If you are in a cubicle, see if some quiet background noise is allowed and then make it happen.  If you are a "total quiet" kind of worker, figure out spaces that allow for you to get alone and get quiet.
• Be a person who suggests change and then participate in the progress.  Read here what 37 Signals does to promote a quiet workplace.  You could do that too. 
•  Get into the zone as often as possible, with noise reduction as your ally.  What we are talking about is pretty important stuff- your career, family, social network, even your faith all depend on periods of time in which you can focus and get things done.  Figure out the noise stuff and you're one step closer to hitting it out of the park on a regular basis.

Is all of this relative?  Sure.  Is it vitally important to figure out and then repeat over and over again?  Absolutely. 

What's your ideal level of noise when you are hard at work? 

 *BTW, Craig Jarrow shared a link to a great (and free!) service called Coffitity.  Simple enough, Coffitity provides coffee shop background noise for when you work.  I've used it for a few days now and it's great! 

**photo courtesy of TMN 

Work-Life (un)Balance

So much talk about work-life balance these days and in the past five years or so.  

Friends I have struggle with this.  Colleagues at work too.  It's as if many folks can't seem to hold all of the balls in the air.  We face a few options, at least according to contemporary wisdom: 

• drop a few balls (i.e. resign from your post as treasurer of whatever organization in town)
• hire it out (think: pool boy) 
• get smarter
• get faster
• wait for a time in life when things are easy

Ask someone who knows me and they'll tell you that I'm hardly an expert when it comes to work-life balance.  Like anyone, I occasionally drop a ball by accident or add another project to my already bursting list. 

And yet, I'm thinking of a friend, John, who said to me recently, "Mike, if you can do all that you do, with four kids and a busy job, I can do it too." 

There's a secret of course at play here- super productive people don't "do it all".  They don't have a magical 25th hour in their day or a secret iOS app that gets more done for them.

Rather, they go in spurts.  Push and pull.  Action and then rest. 

This summer I've tried to practice this- a week of rest and then two weeks of hard work.  A week of study and then a week of hard work.   

It's actually been unbalanced if we were doctrinal about things.  But maybe there's a deeper principle in play- you can only do what you can do.  Do it smart and in bursts.   

Maybe it's time we start talking about work-life (un)balance as a virtue instead of beating ourselves up for failing to meet a deadline.   What can you stop doing today that will free up time and energy?

*photo courtesy of GM