When prayer is difficult for you, there are any number of paths forward. Whether it’s free-form journaling (which I’ve covered here) or a change to your routine, there is always a new approach that you can try. As with working out, sometimes you need to mix it up.
Something that I’ve been using lately deals with desire. You’ve probably read the famous Merton prayer which seemingly every young person claims as an adolescent credo,
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following
your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Amen.
While I have such mixed feelings about Merton due to his late-in-life moral failings, this particular prayer has stayed with me. I think he was on to something.
Lately, feeling a bit stale with my stay-at-home morning routine, I’ve leaned on desire to talk with God. One morning it was like this, “Lord God, I’ve got nothing today. Nothing except a desire to pray, a desire to be happy, a desire to smile… desires.” Then from there, I listed my desires and it was as if something new sprang forth, “Lord, I desire virtue. I desire my family to be happy. I desire to have a good day. I desire to make a difference through my work. I desire to be a great husband and father. I desire holiness. I desire your Word. I desire silence.” And on and on it went.
This is not magic, as if just telling God your desires will make them come true. Rather, the articulation of desire is an expression of the heart. It’s an opening of who you are now and who you want to be. This wanting is a grace from the Lord- pay attention to it.
As Catholics have gone without the Eucharist for the past few months (due to the stay-at-home orders of Covid-19), the prayer for spiritual communion has been reintroduced. Note the emphasis on desire in the prayer,
My Jesus,
I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You as if You were already there
and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.
Today, as you pray, pay attention to your desires. Let God know exactly what you desire from this day and in your life. This May unlock a greater desire for the Lord Himself and unite your desire with His.
The Podcast from Michael St. Pierre