9 Ways to Be Temporarily Happy

 Let's be honest- it's tougher to be happy in the winter than in the summer.  At least here in the Northeast, that's the case.  

• It's cold.
• The house is more dusty.
• People get cranky.
• All of the cars look like they need a bath.
• Folks look pale.

If you've read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project or Happier at Home, you know that certain behaviors make a real difference when it comes to happiness, especially in the winter.  

These behaviors can include making your bed in the morning, maintaining a clean home or any number of actions that just about anyone can try out.  Best of all, most of these are free!

Since winter here in New Jersey seems to be hanging on longer than we would like, I decided to try out some of Gretchen's tips to see if they would work.  Bear in mind, that as a person of faith, I was skeptical to try these out.

I was raised to believe that "true happiness" is only found in relationship with God.  The "small stuff"- that was soft and mushy, like tofu.  And who do you know that gets excited about tofu?  I had to integrate my faith into daily life rather than put the two opposite one another.

This is of course, a classic ninja move for anyone who wants to be a "Daily Saint"- integrating the ordinary with the spiritual.

To do this, I've spent a few weeks tracking the little things that make me happy.  These may not work for you but, temporarily at least, they sure do have an effect in my life.  

The list includes:

• Gadgets- iPhone, iPad, etc.
• Books on tape- I've gotten hooked on Vince Flynn's spy novels as of late.
• Making my breakfast and lunch the night before
• Arriving for church early rather than late
• Drinking plenty of water
• Being home by dinner
• Cleaning my desk before I leave for home
• Taking an extra five minutes for prayer in the morning
• Reading with my kids before bed

Your list might be different and as they say, "results may vary".  The key is to try out different strategies.  They will probably give you a temporary boost as winter tries to hang on.  While it's true that our ultimate happiness lies in God, we can still enjoy the journey until we meet our final destination.

Photo courtesy of TMN

Why You Worry (and What You Can Do About It)

Are you a person who worries a lot?  

Maybe it’s the result of waiting on medical results.  Or, it could be the effect of having a child that is going through one of those phases.  Your job could cause you to worry or you may have anxiety from feeling like you’re in over your head.  

I can relate, trust me.  Just ask my wife or my team at work- they could list for you my insecurities or reasons for worry.  

Worry can get the best of you if you aren’t careful. It will put extra wrinkles on your forehead and produce fewer hours of sleep at night.  Have you ever known someone who looked much older than they really were?  Those are the people who we say something like, “He’s had a hard life- that’s why he looks so old!”  In short, worry will produce a result in your mind and body if you let it.

The most dangerous thing though about worry is what it can do to your spiritual life.  First, worry can be a sign of not fully accepting God’s unconditional love for you.  Some of us are too hard on ourselves because we don’t fully, completely, passionately accept that God is head over heals for us.  Think on that for a bit… it will rock your world.

Worry can also be a sign that we don’t fully trust God’s providence in our life.  Think about it in another way.  If I told my son Thomas that he can trust me to get him to school on time and then he spends the entire day before school worrying about whether or not we’ll arrive on time.  Talk about wasted energy on his part but worse yet, it would signal a lack of confidence in me as his dad.  (And I’m a pretty solid driver I might add.)

To avoid worry, we should lock in to the two fold practice of a) Accept God’s love and b) Trust that He knows what He’s doing.  A few passages from Scripture come to mind:

“So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.”  Matt. 6:33-34 (NLT)

And another that is helpful when we think of worrying,

“Give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life.” Rom. 6:13b (NLT)

Worry doesn’t ever fully go away but you can lessen its effects through the following suggestions:

1. The moment you are tempted to worry, take your concern immediately to prayer.  It doesn't matter if you're at work or driving to an appointment- pray!
2. Talk about what you feel like worrying about with someone you trust.  This could be a spiritual director of a trusted friend.
3. Build a team around yourself that you can have total confidence in.  I often brag about my team at work because I trust them completely- that makes me worry less often.
4. Revisit Scripture often so that you are countering worry’s effects with the reassuring and continual Presence of God.  The Bible's wisdom doesn't go out of style.

I worry a lot.  I’m admittedly trying to get better and trust God more but worry is something that is always just around the corner.  Maybe you can relate.  If you are responsible for anyone besides yourself (a spouse, a child, an organization, a church, a town), it’s even more important that you learn to counter the temptation of worry.  

Fortunately, worry doesn’t have to get the best of you.  With some practice you’ll worry less and draw even closer to God. 

What are the things that you most often worry about?  What techniques do you practice when worry creaps in?

Photo courtesy of FS

What Your Silence Tells Others

Some leaders are outspoken while others prefer to be low key. In a recent NBC interview with Brian Williams, Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed a leaning towards introversion and silence. When asked what it was like shifting from a senior executive position to that of CEO, he said, "I'm a very private person, I like my being anonymous." (for the full transcript, click here)

For extroverts, finding silence during a week is very important even though silence is not their natural leaning. For introverts, finding silence is easy since they prefer less stimulation on any given day.

For both groups, silence speaks volumes. It tells others any number of things about them and how they approach work. It also is subjectively interpreted by those around the leader.

As an example, I like to spend the first 90 minutes of my day without meetings. I prepare my day, meet with my assistant and crank out the tasks that absolutely must get done that day. When I do this, the rest of the day goes better. I'm more focused and can give myself to those around me. When I don't do this, I'm distracted and experience guilt.

I realize that not everyone has a job with full control over each hour of the day. It's also true that some jobs are urgency driven. An ER nurse's job is to respond to anyone who comes through the door. Can you imagine it any other way? Still, when you choose to practice silence during the day, you tell others something about you.

The mom who tells her kids that she needs a 15 minute break so that she can have a devotional prayer time says something profound. She's telling her kids that the home is about noise AND quiet. She's telling her kids that faith needs listening and listening only happens when we are quiet.

The CEO who starts his day by getting quiet and closing his door for 30 minutes tells those around him that he's there for them AND can only be fully engaged if he begins his day with quietude. He's actually deepening his leadership platform by showing those in the organization that he is available most of the time but not all of the time.

The couple that takes a long drive in the country and doesn't feel the need to talk is practicing silence. Their silence says that they've run out of things to say AND that love is totally ok with that. Sometimes love is just being in the presence of the one you love.

What is your silence telling others?

*Photo Courtesy of FDT

Five Things to do on a Friday

Fridays are pretty great. We look forward to them. They mark the end of either drudgery or vocation during the week. I don't know about you but I find the mere existence of Friday makes Monday through Thursday a bit more tolerable.

Thanks be to God for inventing Fridays. Really good stuff there.

From a productivity and spirituality perspective, Fridays are also useful insofar as you can tie a ribbon on your week. When you do that, the weekend and the following week go better. Here are five simple things you can do to end your week on a high note:

1. Do a weekly review. Remember the last time you did a true GTD weekly review? If it's been a while, now is the time to get quiet and review your project list and plan for the next week.

2. Find one spiritual reading for the weekend. Whether it's a New Testament reading or something from Relevant Magazine, find something to save and then get alone with it later in the weekend.

3. Plan an outdoor activity. When was the last time that you actually researched an outdoor activity?

4. Clean up your workspace. There is nothing better than to start your week on Monday having cleaned it up on Friday.

5. Surprise your loved ones. You can pick up flowers for your wife, rent a silly movie for the kids or buy a bunch of legos for your son (or yourself). People like surprises and Fridays are perfect for delighting those you love with something out of the ordinary.

So how will you use your Friday?

Why a New Year is so Exciting

I like new things. New gadgets, new homes, new arrangements of the furniture after Christmas, new ways of arranging an office. A new tie is usually good unless it blinks. Did I mention new programs at church?

New is fun. New is... new.

It's terrific on the internet how everyone is writing about the over/under on New Year's Resolutions. Some people dig them and others are repulsed by them. Wherever you are at in that spectrum, that's pretty much ok. The key is to find your sweet spot and then go with what works.

My kids and I were playing a game over the vacation which involved planning a next move. My 9 year old son said, "I'm just going to plan as I go."

That's pretty good advice for January and beyond.

Match Your Activity with Your Energy

It's 8:22pm in the St. Pierre household and you have one child to be put to bed in 8 minutes.  The other three are going to be sleeping (right?) by 9pm.  

This is pretty typical in my family and I'm wondering about yours.  The issue is simple enough- what do you do when you have small bits of time to spend?  Do you waste them or make the most of them?

The temptation is to say, "the heck with it" or "Mike, you're micromanaging the clock!"  All I know is that God gives us time in order to use it.  I figure we ought to use it well.

So back to the scenario at hand.  In my house, we typically try to match the activity with the level of energy.  Have ten minutes before bed?  Choose a low-level activity that doesn't require much brain power.  This could be tidying up a room or folding a pile of clothes.

On the other hand, if you're given a 30-45 minute block of time, you may want to settle in for a deeper level of activity.  This is a gift to use more wisely.  You could do some writing, have a meaningful conversation or clean out your inbox.  

Whatever your block of time, try to see it as a gift.  

Which tasks do you typically reserve for small blocks of time?  Likewise, which ones do you tackle when you have a lot of energy?

Photo courtesy of CK