What’s the Point of Prayer in the Face of a Natural Disaster?

Yesterday, after attending Mass, I ran into two friends, both from Puerto Rico. We talked about the recent hurricanes and their impact on the island. There was no talk about bridges or generators or hospitals. Rather, we spoke of relatives and sadly, of the harrowing experiences of their friends.

I walked away feeling empty and sensing that I could no nothing to help.

If I’m honest, part of me didn’t want to help. After all, it’s much easier to just fade back into my New Jersey suburban neighborhood and return to daily life with power, clean water and high speed internet.

Conscience told me that some kind of bridge had to be built from after that post-Mass moment with my friends to a personal moment of prayer. While I wasn’t able to travel to Puerto Rico, I could, if I was brave enough, pray for those in Puerto Rico suffering from the effects of the hurricane.

Prayer is often like that- you know you can do it but it can still feel insufficient.​

Back at home, during a morning prayer time, I began to build that bridge. From a quiet porch on the side of my house, I prayed. Not knowing how to pray for people who have lost everything, my prayers were quite simple.  I prayed for their homes, for their towns and most of all, for their ability to maintain hope.  As a result, my heart expanded and all I could do, pray, was enough.  In those particular moments of prayer, all I could do was the best I could do.

What is the point of prayer when a natural disaster strikes? I do not have all of the answers. What I do know is that if all you can do is pray, that’s what you should do.

3 Apps That Will Help You Focus at Work

We’ve all been there- you sit down to do some work at your computer and you get distracted. 

If you’re like me, it goes something like this:

• I’ll just check Twitter real quick...
• ... and follow a link from a sports writer to a story online...
• ... which makes me think that maybe there are related stories so I turn to Google for a quick search...
• ...which then takes me down the rabbit trail of three other articles related to the same topic.

Can you relate? 

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The rabbit trail is a dangerous thing. It's seductive really. The rabbit trail taps into our desire for quick, dopamine-inducing searches and internet expeditions. The rabbit trail affects us all, whether we are aware of it or not.  If you have an internet connection, you've experienced this.  If you use social media, you've experienced this.  If you have a smartphone, you know what I'm talking about.

I suppose the question is this: what are you going to do about it? 

If you need to work online and can’t become a monk (although that sounds good sometimes right?), the good news is that there are a number of apps you can use to stay focused. Here are the three that I use regularly:

1. Self Control. This Mac-only app is very smart. It allows you to create a list of applications or websites that you know you’ll be tempted to visit. Then, by launching the app, it knows to not allow you to open those websites. I’ve used Self Control for months and find it very handy. You can also launch the app and tell it how long you want to do focused work. Self Control then begins and ends when your timed work is done.  (cost: free)
2. Coffitivity. Cofffitivity is a website (and app) with some pre-recorded sounds that simulate a coffee shop. The makers of of the application have stepped up their game and now offer a handful of different coffee shop soundtracks. Just launch the one that fits your mood and you’re off and running. There’s something about a little bit of back noise that helps you to focus and do your work. (cost: free; a $9 premium version is also available)
3. White Noise. White Noise comes in both a free and for-pay version and it’s great. There are tons of sounds that you can try out, from the sound of a hairdryer to the purr of a cat to the sound of a rowboat along the water. White Noise is what I use when there is some other noise in the house or in my office. I launch White Noise and it serves to negate most of the other noise around me. This is very subtle but good news- it actually works. (cost: free; a premium option is also available)

Another tactic you might try is to use an iPad for as much of your work as possible. While you can certainly multi-task on an iPad (with split-screen that allows you to have two apps side by side), it lends itself to using one application at a time. 

Whether you go with the iPad or the apps that I mentioned above, the key is to outsmart the distractions in your head. Once you do that, you’ll be more free to do your focused work.

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BONUS: if you’re a person of prayer, you may want to try White Noise in order to set the mood and tune out the other noises around you. While this isn’t practical for praying at church, it does the trick for those times when you want to have a quiet time at home but just can’t seem to tune out the noise. 

Five Ways to Become a More Detail-Oriented Person

This past weekend my daughters and I headed to one of our favorite spots, The Great Swamp, located here in northern New Jersey.  We filled out a sheet of paper for the little one, trying our best to find spider webs, mushrooms and frogs.  It was an hour of unhurried bliss, completely attentive to every little detail of the Swamp.

Details are like that- they are really important and often overlooked.  If this blog post is filled with typos and errors, you probably wouldn't return for a second visit.  Worse yet, you might feel as if the effort going into the blog doesn't meet your standards.

We make these conclusions with people as well.  As it turns out, there are at least three things that interviewers notice in job candidates.  We meet someone and immediately form a judgement based on such small details as their clothing or tone of voice.  I once interviewed a man who was late, had dirt under his fingernails and hadn’t flossed in some time.  Needless to say, he wasn’t hired.  

I like this piece about the kinds of things that detail-oriented people notice, including:

1. What people wear for clothing: i.e. a red tie implies strength.
2. Body language: A strong handshake indicates confidence.
3. Improper grammar: You want to build your vocabulary via more frequent reading.
4. The big picture: Detailed people understand context and perspective.
5. Patterns: i.e. “I have a pattern of getting along with my bosses”, etc.
6. Things out of place: Detailed people recognize when a room is off-kilter or when a meeting is missing a key person.
7. How much is left: Whether it’s time or money, detailed people have a good sense of “enough”.

These are the indicators of people who are detail-oriented but how do you develop that muscle?  I suggest five ways:

1. Get in touch with your faith.  Your relationship with God, cultivated over time, will enable you to be more heartfelt, more of a listener and more appreciative of your surroundings.  My faith in Christ (and I am happily Catholic) is not only the source of all I do but the engine behind noticing the many wonderful details around me.  The more often you can pray, the better.
2. Get outside.  Nature is the best classroom for noticing details.  The more time you can spend outdoors, the better.
3. Read more.  Authors are masters of inserting small details into otherwise complex storylines.  The more you can read, the better.
4. Create a home with less noise.  Cary and I have four kids and lots of glowing devices, from iPhones to tablets.  Still, our kids know that certain times are meant to be quiet like during dinner or early in the morning.  The less noise, the better.
5. Create a workspace with fewer interruptions.  I had the opportunity to interview Tim Metz whose company is dedicated to fewer interruptions at work.  The less interruptions, the better.

It’s worthwhile to try to be more intentional about who and what is around you.  Pay attention to them in every way.  In your daily journal writing, take note of your own personal details like how you are feeling, what makes you happy and what you're anxious about.  

Over time, simply by paying more attention, you'll start to notice even the smallest of details.  For whatever strange reason, I have an uncanny ability of noticing when someone gets a haircut.  I've learned how to compliment people on their haircut and they love it.  They love being noticed, just like you and me.

5 Steps to Your Next Great Prayer

Prayer is both harder and easier than many of us would like to admit.  You need not have a Master's degree.  It's accessible any time of the day.  You don't need to be good looking or have an award-winning IQ.  

It's easy and yet many don't take the time to do it.

First, we should ask ourselves, "what is prayer and what is the point of it"?  As a Christian, I've been taught that prayer is a conversation with God.  It's an opportunity to thank God and ask for help.  After all, life can be tough and we don't have all of the answers.

As Meister Eckart famously said “If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”  This is good news.  Prayer can make us more grateful as we realize that we are not the center of the universe.

Still, this takes some practice.  For me, this is often

a) a morning routine and

b) a during-the-day process.  

To quote Eckart one more time, “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.”  I like to read a short passage of the Bible and also do some journaling.  One is input and the other is output.  Finally, it's important to sit and just listen.  In a world of noise, God often whispers in the midst of quiet. We need that quiet. Terry Hershey calls it "sanctuary", a safe place to withdraw to that makes it easier to just "be" with God.

I recently hosted our summer off-site meeting and invited a friend who is, in my book, an expert in prayer.  She taught us the following 5 step process to beginning anew each morning:

1. G  gratitude: thank God for even the smallest things of your day.
2. R  request for light: what don't you understand?  What's eating at you?
3. A  accountability: talk with God about those that rely on your gifts and talent.
4. C  contrition: what imperfections and sins do you need to talk with God about?  
5. E  energetic response: what situation today do you want God to especially bless?

Why not try this simple approach to prayer today?  

Simplifying Your Prayer Life

Most people I know want to pray more.  Their hearts are in the right places but... life gets in the way.  You know the feeling when you put your head down at night and realize that an entire 24 hours went by without even thinking about God, much less praying to Him. 

Not a good feeling. 

The good news is that you can reconnect with God any time.  By taking out some of the spiritual clutter, that reconnection process is much easier.   

So how do you do it?  That is, simplify your re-entry into conversations (both listening and talking) with God?   

1. Name your space. Where will you pray?  In the car?  On the train?  In your home office?  While working out?  Say it out loud, write it down- whatever, but be sure you are clear where you intend to pray.  Some folks find that a church on the way home from work is ideal.  Find what/where works for you.
2. Claim your space.  Once you've decided where you feel good praying, make it your own.  In my house, my home office is a very prayerful space. I have a prayer corner, some candles and lots of images that remind me of God and encourage me to be prayerful.  (see below)
3. Limit your inputs.  Go for small "wins" here.  Rather than deciding you'll read all of Thomas Merton's spiritual classics, set aside one, just one.  Make it a point to read with focus, slowness and intention.  The simpler your spiritual diet, the better.  If you're not sure where to begin, go for the daily Mass readings that Catholics use.  

I could say so much about prayer but at the end of the day, the old Nike saying holds true, "just do it" and then see what happens.  Hopefully, it's a simple, whole experience that brings you closer and closer to God. 

What works for you when you need to simplify your spiritual life? 

Photo courtesy of JM 

How Fasting Could Impact More Than Just Your Faith

As Christians around the world entered into the ancient season of Lent on Ash Wednesday, a period of fasting begins.  As Muslims have Ramadan, Christians use Fridays in Lent for fasting from meat and to limit consumption. An outsider might view this as a astrange practice indeed but fasting pays off in countless ways.

The key of course is in one's motivation to fast.

Those who are skilled at fasting have taught us to link our fasting with a cause.  This rallying cry might be as simple as

• those around the world


• the poor and abandoned


• my children


• someone in need


• a relative who is ill

By starting the fast in dedication to one of these people, things go smoother and any discomfort is made bearable.  It could be at a random point in the day, say 11AM when you feel most hungry.  At that point, a silent, almost unnoticable prayer is lifted up on behalf of the person you're linking to your fast.

Benefits of fasting include the slowing down of body and mind. One becomes more grateful for what one has.  Mormons fast once a month and then donate the money to someone in need.  I've learned to savor what food I do have when the fast is broken, eating more slowly and cherishing the simple things of life.

If you've not fasted before, it's worth a try as long as you do it in moderation.  For an excellent resource on fasting, check this out. For more information about Lent, this will do.

Photo by LivingOS