How to Extend Thanksgiving Beyond One Day

I saw them the other day.  Christmas decorations in all of their "glory" but showing up well before Thanksgiving.  My first reaction was to shake my head.  I thought to myself, "Doesn't anyone enjoy Thanksgiving any more?"  It seemed as if consumerism pushed Thanksgiving over in favor of the more lucrative Christmas season.

I'm now reading that "Black Friday" shopping may extend to Thanksgiving day itself.  I guess the must have gadget just can't wait to be purchased as it had in past years.  What's going on here?

Growing up in New England, Thanksgiving always held a special place in my family.  The last high school football game of the year was played on Thanksgiving.  My brothers would come home from college on Thanksgiving.  An odd relative might come by for the day.  The traditions, the food and good company always made for a memorable day.  It also seemed to be the break that was just long enough to get you to pause from the hectic pace of life.

As my wife and I are now raising a family of our own, we are trying to "extend" Thanksgiving so that it last more than just one day.  It feels like the last "pure" holiday. No men in red costumes at the mall. No large, scary man dressed up in a bunny suit.  It's just an American day to be and to honor the principle of gratitude.  We want our kids to be more grateful and realize all that they have in life.

So how can you extend Thanksgiving beyond the one obligatory day each year?

Start by looking within. Take a few minutes during your prayer time to thank God for the slightest of things.  Your home, your family, a nice neighborhood, a safe commute, an organized workspace, gadgets, your faith, and so on.  If you can have this conversation out loud, all the better.  Don't be embarrassed- there's real power to vocalized prayer. If you can write it down, don't fight it.  If you can tell someone that you're thankful for them, you're really rolling.  After a while, gratitude expands within you.

Before you know it, Thanksgiving will have increased from within and extended out towards those around you.

How to Rescue Your Vacation Before It's Too Late

Did you know that most Americans don't use up all of their vacation days?  If you don't believe me, read about it here.

I try to take two vacations each summer, one in early summer as a bit of a release from the pressure of the end of the year.  Then, in early August, I like to take another week where I can just be with my family and mentally prep for the year ahead.

Unfortunately, this week (which is my 2nd week) has been a huge disappointment.  I've let my job and its various stresses get the best of me.  My wife even said earlier today, "Seems like you're pretty focused on work this week, even though you're supposed to be on vacation."

Sad but true.

I don't wear this like a badge of honor like some people you meet.  You know, the folks at cocktail hours who spout off about how important they are and how "work would never allow me to get away", etc.

My problem is me.  I've allowed my self to fall into a couple of work-related traps that you can avoid if you really want to enjoy your time off.  If you can learn from my mistakes, all the better.

The pitfall of not cleaning up before your vacation. GTD founder David Allen says this about the feeling you get prior to vacation, "Isn't it interesting that people feel best about themselves right before they go on vacation? They've cleared up all of their to-do piles, closed up transactions, renewed old promises with themselves. My most basic suggestion is that people should do that more than just once a year."

I really didn't clean things up before I left for vacation.  It didn't feel tidy and several days later, I don't feel great.  My inbox was full and I had too many loose ends to tend to.  Big mistake.  It's totally worth the time and energy to address messy details before vacation (rather than during your time on the beach with the ones you love; BlackBerry smartphones weren't made to be used in tropical locations!)

The pitfall of being overly reachable during your vacation. My closest team members know how to reach me when things get hot (i.e. an emergency).  I've unfortunately been dealing with phone calls and crisis emails all week.  Even though I use a vacation auto-responder and my voicemail message tells folks that I'm away, my lack of discipline has made me reachable to too many folks.  While I've been writing this post, two calls have come in which needed some of my attention.  Ugh!

The pitfall of working while on vacation. Does this one really need an explanation?

So with all of this said, a vacation can still be rescued from the three pitfalls we discussed.  I'm going to turn off my phone, go back to a few activities that anchor me (journaling, blogging, fishing) and recommit to my family in the days that I have left.

I feel better already.

 

A Permission Slip ... to Slow Down

The past two weeks in New Jersey (and in many other parts of the country) have been hot. Very hot.  So much so that we have started to feel like old timers, talking more about the weather than about anything else.

"Hot enough for ya?"

That classic line has become very popular in the St. Pierre house.  Even our four year old is a weather expert.  It's become a sport to check weather.com for daily updates.  Like a badge of honor, we brag to our friends about how close to 100 it is.  Just today I spoke with a friend who smiled and relayed a story of how his sandle melted on some sand at the beach as if to say, "real men brave the elements."

As we now wait for rain, and it seems like it will rain one of these days, I'm a bit sad.  You'd think that I would be happy, after all our lawns look like hell.  Strangely enough, the heat has taught me a crucial lesson.  A lesson about rest, about sabbath and about spiritual things.  The fact is, most of what we've done in the past two weeks has been downright restful.

We have read books.  Played board games.  Cooked healthy meals.  Took trips to the pool.  It's been spectacular and filled with moments of Sabbath.  It was as if we needed the heat to give us permission to slow down and just be.

Life is like that.  My friend Christine talks about a time when she was sick with a cold.  She "called in sick", read magazines and enjoyed hot tea- all day long.  "I loved it," she said as she explained how she needed a cold to give her permission to slow down.

That's all we need most of the time, permission.  Permission to take a break.  Permission to nap without guilt.  Permission to spend a bit longer cooking a meal when we would ordinarily rush.  Permission to linger in your prayer time.

Our culture is often about the work of taking permission away. You shouldn't take a break, work harder.  You shouldn't do one thing at a time when you could be multitasking.  You shouldn't enjoy a small home when everyone else is heading to larger four bedroom models.

Our faith tells us to counter all of this.  To swim against the stream and accept permission to live consciously right here and right now.

Which area of your life are you feeling as if permission is needed? Have you been beating yourself up because your waistline isn't perfect?  Forget about it.  Guilt-ridden because you didn't get the perfect gift for someone?  Please!

Go ahead and give yourself permission today to let God meet you right where you're at.  That might take place during supper or while you're going for a swim or even while you're waiting in traffic.

It's ok, you have permission.

Why I'm Not the #1 Dad

This post is shorter than most on The Daily Saint but brevity can often be the best teacher.  Before a recent trip I took with my kids around town, we packed some sandwiches and labeled them with a Sharpie.  As I handed out everyone's lunch, my seven year old saw my sandwich and laughed.

My lunch, self labeled I admit, said, "#1 Dad".

After I admitted to being the man behind the label, my son questioned me and said the following, "Dad, come on!  You should know better than this.  You're not the #1 Dad- God is."  We then had a great talk about God's role in our daily lives.  Simple as that.

Sometimes it takes a child to show you a life lesson.

Are You Brave Enough?

My wife and I had the delight of visiting this past weekend with some dear friends, Kevin and Christine O'Brien.  They will be the godparents to our newborn and we couldn't be happier.  Their daughter, Catie, sadly passed away two years ago to a rare form of cancer.  Their brave journey has been captured on their website, Catie's Wish.

In our dinner conversation, we talked about their courageous journey of innocence, tragedy and hope.  We also discussed work and the whole "work to live/live to work" thing.

Kevin, an executive with a national pharmacy, riffed about how he sees one leader after another working 80,90 or 100 hours a week.  "It's nuts to me," Kevin said, "since you could be with your family for a chunk of those hours if you just got more productive with the first 40 hours."  In other words, work hard so that you can have a life outside of work.  You know, your family and friends?  Remember them?

I couldn't put it better myself.  This is just another reason why we talk about productivity being an act of bravery.  To have the courage to work so well as to make a difference (and not give your family the short stick) is truly inspiring.

Are you brave enough to put your family first and still be a top performer at work?

*I chose for this post's art the photo of Christian musical artist Steven Curtis Chapman, a dad who also lost a child far too early in life.  To find out how you can help the O'Briens' cause to cure pediatric cancer, visit CatiesWish.org.

The One Time Of Year When Stress Can Be A Blessing

Too many of us get sidetracked at Christmas.  There are just too many things to do.  Sadly, nearly all of us feel compelled to do each of them.  When a friend of mine told me that he was boycotting the sending of Christmas cards, I thought he was nuts.

From a productivity standpoint, I now think he's a genius.

The Christmas Card Paradox


Think of how much time is spent looking for (or in many cases, finding the right photo for) the "perfect" Christmas card.  Then get your addresses in order.  Mail them.  You have the correct postage?

This of course is reversed as the cards have been flooding your home for the past two weeks.  What do you do with them?  Keep them- if so, for how long?  Tape them up- if so, where?  To make it worse, you may even feel compelled to cut out some of the addresses that you'll want for next year's list.  Add that to your to-do list.

And we haven't even talked about the presents.  And holiday parties.  And decorations.

Making the Break

Imagine not having all of the effects of holiday stress.  It's possible but you've got to make a decision like my friend did.

As Tony Robbins says, "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."  In other words, follow the holiday routines of the masses and your productivity will lag behind.

And your spiritual life too.

It's about focus, not on each and every thing but on the right things.  Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."  The task at hand is then clear: focus on the important aspects of Christmas and leave the rest behind.

Focusing on the Truly Important

I know, some of you may be thinking that I'm putting Christmas down because of the stress it entails but hear me out.  Christmas is about Jesus the Christ being born into the world.  A baby who would one day grow up to be a man who would assume his role as the Savior.  He is at the very center of the "holidays".

It's not the cards or the parties or those quirky lights.  It's about Jesus.

I suppose the benefit of all of the craziness surrounding Christmas is actually a good thing.  As the Exsultet prayer on the eve of Easter declares sin a a "happy fault", maybe the holiday stress is a gift as well.

The Gift of Christmas Stress

The next time you receive a Christmas card, don't feel obliged to send one back.  Pray for the sender instead.

The next time you are invited to a party and cannot attend, don't feel guilty.  If you could, you would so relax.

The next time you give a gift and it wasn't "perfect", remember that it's the thought that counts.  If all gifts had to be perfect, very few of us would score well on the exam.

By focusing on Jesus, all of these holiday traditions take on new meaning.  Be good to yourself this Christmas.  Take a quiet walk to clear your head.  Read your Bible.  Call someone who is lonely.  Take a nap.  Leave the stress behind and embrace the One who makes Christmas possible.

"So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them."

Luke 2:4-7


*Photo by theogeo