How to Bring Self Confidence to a Higher Level

Photo by Feuillu

"One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self- confidence is preparation."  Arthur Ashe

When I came across this quote, I had a bit of an "aha" moment as I remembered what a mentor had told me years ago about time management.  He explained that he was not the smartest, nor funniest, nor best looking.  His gift, he discovered years earlier, was his ability to prioritize commitments and prepare for each week.  Not exactly what everyone strives for but he practiced and practiced until he got it down.

Then he became a true master of time management.

When you can see your weekly review as a skill, you're getting deeper into the game.  The preparation-follow up-preparation cycle becomes the backbone of your ability to prioritize commitments.  Thankfully, it gets easier with time.

What Arthur Ashe is also reminding us is that confident people are prepared people. The two go hand in hand.  What can we prepare for this week?

1. Calendar



2. Meetings



3. Diet & fitness



4. Relationships



5. Fun



6. Spiritual growth

And we could go on and on.  A truly prepared person sees the "edgeless" activities (spiritual growth, fun, relationships, etc.) as projects with action steps.  Not that a Valentine's dinner with your better half is merely another project, but it has multiple steps which need be carried out in sequence.  Translation: project management. 

Looking at the Valentine's dinner as an example- if you are prepared for Feb. 14th, chances are it will go better and you'll feel great about it.  Makes sense.

What can you do, besides being a prepared person, to boost your self confidence?  Here are some tips:

1. Customize your routine.  This is an essential component to an organized (and prepared) life.  Nail your wake up times and going to bed times.  Streamline how you get ready for the day.  Simplify your steps in the morning.  Then, do it all again.



2. Understand your personality type. Use the Myers Briggs personality type indicator as a tool to better understand yourself.  Once you accept your level of extrovert-introversion, you'll be much cooler with how you treat your own personality.  (oh, and how you treat others)



3. Hang with the best and brightest.  Network online, via phone or snail mail with those who are confident.  Meet them at conferences and find out where they hang.  You don't want to be a stalker, just someone who learns how to meet those who are successful.   My students get a kick out of who I've met and interviewed over the years.



4. Dress for success. What you wear does make a difference.  This is not just interview advice.  The next time you don't feel well, dress better.  The next time the weather is crummy, dress better.  The next time you are about to meet someone important, dress better. 



5. Go where you want to be.  If you want to be the boss, check out his/her office the next time you have a meeting.  Imagine yourself hosting visitors and facilitating meetings.  If your neighborhood isn't what you want it to be, go for a drive and observe how other streets are organized and what types of houses are there.  Get the flavor of the dream and then stoke your fire by visiting its origin again and again.



6. Find a mentor. A mentoring agency can be a huge help with improving self confidence.  A good mentor is like gold and can become a secret weapon in the road to success.  My mentor, Gerry, is a trusted advisor, a genuine friend and a sounding board for my ambitions and failures. 

10 Sure-Fire Ways to Beat the February Blues

Photo by kool_skatkat

It's that time of year again, when the cold doesn't go away and the days are dark.  A former boss of mine once said, "Never make a big decision in February," and I think that he was right.  It's not a time of year that, in the Northeast U.S. at least, is particularly cheery.

What can you do to combat the February blues?  Here are some sure-fire ways that will pick you up and get you smoothly into Spring:

Change your voice mail message.  Sounds so basic but give it a try and see what happens.  Your callers will also know that you have a pulse and are keeping it real.

Move around your furniture.  A change in layout, placement, or even pairing can go a long way.  Furniture placement is definitely an art so figure out what works for you and then enjoy what you've created.  Generative activity is one of the best triggers to the brain to stimulate happiness.

Purge your closets. Tossing 'stuff' is also a great way to maintain simplicity and combat the winter blues. 

Clean your car.  Since you have to spend time in the car on a regular basis, keeping it clean makes a lot of sense.  You'll maintain a healthier space but the act of cleaning will also give you a boost to make it through February.

Change your website or blog design. Why not mix it up?  If you use Wordpress or Typepad, there are many templates out there which are easy enough to install.  Try something out and ask for feedback from your readers.  Why not create a contest that would let the readers choose the look and feel that they enjoy the most?

Streamline your desk. A clean desk is essential for maximum productivity.  More than that, it keeps you in the zone and allows you to tune out visual distractions.  Keep it simple, nothing more and nothing less.

Clean out your wallet or handbag.  Similar to purging a closet, a journey through a wallet or purse reveals all sorts of things.  Clean it out and you'll be amazed how much lighter it is when receipts and unnecessary items are tossed.

Go for a new look. Mix it up with a new hair style, an affordable wardrobe makeover or one new accessory which you'll use regularly.  If your health insurance provides for new glasses, why keep wearing that old pair with the broken nose-pieces?

Take a mini-vacation. A long weekend during February makes a lot of sense.  It doesn't have to be far from home nor expensive to make this idea happen. 

Throw a party.  Invite a small group of your good friends over and call it a "Winter Blues" get together.  Invite everyone to bring a dish and then enjoy the night!

Strength Phrases for Those Tough Parts of the Day

All of us have an optimal time of day for high performance and creative thought.  We can look to an interview with Teresa Amabile who studied workplace stress for ten years.  While many of us see stress as a stimulant to keep us moving through the day, the data speaks to the contrary:

"Perhaps the most surprising finding from the time pressure study is
that time pressure really does seem to have an important impact on
creativity, even though our intuitions are contradictory and previous
research is inconclusive."

In order to stay productive, try single-tasking instead of multitasking.  Tim Ferris has written extensively on this and offers some practical tips on how to do one thing at a time.

Another strategy for keeping on your game is to repeat (i.e. mantra) phrases to yourself during the day.  These should be simple, to the point and meaningful to you.  Just because someone else said it, doesn't mean that it's going to work for you.  Here are some suggestions:

• I am good at what I do



• Fast, smart, thoughtful



• My focus is on those I serve



• What's my next step?



• One thing at a time

The Ultimate Guide to Setting New Year's Resolutions

For years, I thought that I just had to set some kind of New Year's resolution.  It's mandatory right?  This year, I'm taking a new approach, counter to everything that Brian Tracy wrote in Eat That Frog where he promotes doing the unpleasant thing first each day.  Not me but thanks anyway Brian.  I do plenty of frog eating in my daily work so my 2008 list is all about fun.

While I won't publish my entire Events List, I'm going to try to do less of some things (yelling from one room to the next when the kids are arguing) and more of others (going green with our new house).  Some highlights from my list include:

• going on  a silent retreat



• reclaiming Sabbath time



• simplifying (anything, everything) whenever I can



• mailing birthday gifts ahead of time

I've also felt drawn lately to reworking my mission statement so that it reflects more focus and simplicity.  This year I will strive, along with my family to be "Fully present to the grace of God, in the moments of God in order to be the hands of God."  Very simple indeed.  Here's to a fun 2008!

Ultimate Guide for Setting (and keeping!) New Year's Resolutions
Tony Robbins on Goal Setting
Leo Babauta on the Goal of Daily Reflection
TreeHugger's Guide to New Year's Resolutions
Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
Goals Guy on the Facts of New Year's Resolutions
Ian's Messy Desk: How to Keep Your Resolutions
My Goals on Helpful Resolution Tips
EHOW on How to Set a New Year's Resolution
Goofy New Year's Resolutions
20 Healthy Resolutions for Kids
Stephen Smith's Last Look at '07
NASCAR's Resolutions for a Great '08
10 New Year's Resolutions to Boost Your Business
A History of New Year's Day
A Resolution to Keep the Sabbath Each Week

Good to Be a Homebody?

My latest LifeHack post is live and called How to Help Your Child be a Homebody.  In an age where our children are encouraged to participate in every activity under the sun, this might provide some insight.

Are Parent-Teacher Conferences Productive?

Today's guest post is from Lisa Hendey from Productivity at Home.  For more of Lisa's tips on Learning and Professional Development click here.

The leaves changing colors on the trees in my backyard and the
points on the “No. 2” pencils growing a bit dull are primary indicators
that the time for annual parent teacher conferences at my child’s
elementary school are drawing near.  I’ll be the first to admit that I
am one of those parents who gets a bit anxious at the prospect of
sitting down with my kids’ teachers.  It’s silly really, as both boys
are excellent students and have relatively good conduct.  I’ve never
had a “bad” parent teacher conference, so my nervousness is misplaced.

This year, I’ve decided to try to have a better, more productive
attitude towards what is actually a tremendous educational opportunity.
My oldest son is now in high school, where meetings with teachers
happen very infrequently. The high school conference is usually not
called to just sit and tell you how great your child is.  Our
elementary school, on the other hand, affords parents this formal
chance once a year to conference individually with each teacher.
Tomorrow my husband and I will visit with the three women and one man
who spend their time devoted to educating Adam and his classmates. 

Determined to make the most out of this opportunity, I turned to a
good friend for advice.  Kimberly Cochran is the Principal of Our Lady
of Perpetual Help School in Clovis, California.  Kim spent several
years in the classroom before transitioning into her administrative
role, so she speaks from the perspective of both a teacher and a
principal.  Equally as important, Kim is the mother of two sons, so
she’s sat on the parent’s side of the desk at these meetings as well.
In my book, Mrs. Cochran’s word is gold, so I was eager for her advice.

“My best advice...arrive with a smile on your face and a positive
attitude,” shares Cochran. “If possible, email the teacher ahead of
time if there are concerns you would like to talk about. Share the
positive things that your child shares with you and remember that the
teacher is there to work with you to help your child succeed. Thank the
teacher for the time spent together and let him or her know you will
continue to keep the lines of communication open.”

These are wise words from a seasoned educational professional.
Along with Mrs. Cochran’s advice, other educators recommend the follow
tips for participating in conferences with your children’s teachers:

• Plan ahead.  Make sure that you prioritize attendance at this
  meeting and that if at all possible both parents are present.  If work
  schedules present a problem, notify your child’s teachers as soon as
  possible and try to work out a scheduling compromise.



• Do your homework.  Many schools send home progress reports in
  advance of parent teacher conferences.  Study your child’s reports and
  look for trends, areas where your child may be struggling, or other
  concerns.  Make a written list of your questions and concerns.  As
  noted by Kimberly Cochran, bring special concerns to the teacher’s
  attention prior to the conference, giving the teacher sufficient time
  to prepare a response.



• Respect the teacher’s time.  Arrive promptly.  Remember that your
  child’s teacher will be meeting with multiple parents, so be cognizant
  of the teacher’s time limitations.  Should your concerns take longer
  than the time allotted, schedule a follow up conversation to address
  more lengthy situations.



• Determine an action plan.  With the teacher, prioritize the actions
  that need to be taken to ensure that your child is fully meeting his
  educational potential.  Talk with the teacher about how you can follow
  up to communicate about your child’s progress, whether by telephone,
  email or future conferences.  Leave the meeting knowing the next step
  to help your child meet his goals.



• Thank the teacher.  Teachers are underpaid and under appreciated
  for the diligent work they undertake in our society.  I plan to take
  time tomorrow at my meetings with Adam’s teachers to let them know how
  much we truly appreciate all they have done to help our child develop
  into a responsible young man.



• Follow up with your child.  Use your meeting with his teacher as a
  chance to pass along the good news on what he’s doing well.  Without
  attacking, discuss with him areas of needed improvement.  Work together
  to determine short and long term goals, setting a concrete appointment
  for follow up.  Share with your child how very proud you are of his
  accomplishments.  Underscore the value of education and the
  appreciation you have for both his effort and that of his teacher.

Parent teacher conferences are a unique opportunity for us to help
our children succeed, both educationally and in character development.
As such, it is well worth taking time to anticipate and plan for a
conference that will be productive and rewarding.