Five Ways to Become a More Detail-Oriented Person

This past weekend my daughters and I headed to one of our favorite spots, The Great Swamp, located here in northern New Jersey.  We filled out a sheet of paper for the little one, trying our best to find spider webs, mushrooms and frogs.  It was an hour of unhurried bliss, completely attentive to every little detail of the Swamp.

Details are like that- they are really important and often overlooked.  If this blog post is filled with typos and errors, you probably wouldn't return for a second visit.  Worse yet, you might feel as if the effort going into the blog doesn't meet your standards.

We make these conclusions with people as well.  As it turns out, there are at least three things that interviewers notice in job candidates.  We meet someone and immediately form a judgement based on such small details as their clothing or tone of voice.  I once interviewed a man who was late, had dirt under his fingernails and hadn’t flossed in some time.  Needless to say, he wasn’t hired.  

I like this piece about the kinds of things that detail-oriented people notice, including:

1. What people wear for clothing: i.e. a red tie implies strength.
2. Body language: A strong handshake indicates confidence.
3. Improper grammar: You want to build your vocabulary via more frequent reading.
4. The big picture: Detailed people understand context and perspective.
5. Patterns: i.e. “I have a pattern of getting along with my bosses”, etc.
6. Things out of place: Detailed people recognize when a room is off-kilter or when a meeting is missing a key person.
7. How much is left: Whether it’s time or money, detailed people have a good sense of “enough”.

These are the indicators of people who are detail-oriented but how do you develop that muscle?  I suggest five ways:

1. Get in touch with your faith.  Your relationship with God, cultivated over time, will enable you to be more heartfelt, more of a listener and more appreciative of your surroundings.  My faith in Christ (and I am happily Catholic) is not only the source of all I do but the engine behind noticing the many wonderful details around me.  The more often you can pray, the better.
2. Get outside.  Nature is the best classroom for noticing details.  The more time you can spend outdoors, the better.
3. Read more.  Authors are masters of inserting small details into otherwise complex storylines.  The more you can read, the better.
4. Create a home with less noise.  Cary and I have four kids and lots of glowing devices, from iPhones to tablets.  Still, our kids know that certain times are meant to be quiet like during dinner or early in the morning.  The less noise, the better.
5. Create a workspace with fewer interruptions.  I had the opportunity to interview Tim Metz whose company is dedicated to fewer interruptions at work.  The less interruptions, the better.

It’s worthwhile to try to be more intentional about who and what is around you.  Pay attention to them in every way.  In your daily journal writing, take note of your own personal details like how you are feeling, what makes you happy and what you're anxious about.  

Over time, simply by paying more attention, you'll start to notice even the smallest of details.  For whatever strange reason, I have an uncanny ability of noticing when someone gets a haircut.  I've learned how to compliment people on their haircut and they love it.  They love being noticed, just like you and me.

Emergent Leader Podcast Episode 12: Terry Hershey

When was the last time you took time for yourself, to pray, think and just "be"?  Best-selling author Terry Hershey was my guest for Episode 12 of Emergent Leader Podcast.  To say that this was a thrill is an understatement!  I've looked up to Terry for years as a sort of "virtual mentor".

Terry's Sabbath Moment newsletter, which arrives each Monday, is excellent.  Better yet, his new book, Sanctuary: Creating a Space for Grace in Your Life is now available.  I've started reading it and it's absolutely great!  

Terry and I discuss ambition, prayerfulness, why it's important to pause in the midst of a busy day.  His deliberate manner is both humble and inspiring and I think you'll absolutely love this cast.

How to Read Slower and Yet Retain More

The rise of Twitter, Facebook and a host of “read it later” services (i.e. Instapaper and Pocket) make reading a lost art.

Think about it- in the last week, how many articles or posts did you read in their entirety? Notice that I didn’t mention books since fewer and fewer people read them (read: "The Decline of the American Book Lover")

Still, reading accomplishes at least three things:

1. It humbles us. Trappist monk Thomas Merton once said, "Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." When we read, we bow to the ideas of another.
2. It enhances our leadership. As the saying goes, “all leaders are readers”.  The best leaders I know have 2-3 books that they devour at one time, hungry for new insights.
3. It deepens our spiritual core. Reading, in its pure sense, is an old fashioned way of taking in information, making sense of it and then putting it into action.

I noticed, about 6 months ago, that I was reading very little. Sure, I was scanning a ton but as for reading things in full, I was a slacker.

What to do? I decided to declare “Read it Later Bankruptcy” and start from scratch.  I deleted all of my old articles and posts and just started fresh.  Heck, what are the real chances that I'll get to that article that I saved months ago?  Slim to none...

This meant a few practical action steps:

1. I would empty (i.e. read fully) any article that I had saved in Instapaper within 24 hours.
2. I would be much more choosy as to which blog posts I would put into Instapaper.
3. I would take my time and not rush through things.
4. Hardcover books would become a pleasurable experience once again. As a result, David Brooks’ The Road to Character has been in my hands a lot lately.  It feels slow (and wonderful) to turn the pages and enjoy the author's salient points.

One surprising side benefit to all of this is that I’m now reading other things in more consistent spurts. Our family has the Bible Verse of the Day (said in a Count Dracula sort of way for dramatic effect) just before dinner. Also, my morning devotions have become more contemplative and patient as I’m taking time to really read rather than just scan.  Finally, by reading slower, I'm sitting with the author, getting to know him and his thoughts.

The bottom line: by reading slower, I'm retaining more.

As a follow up- how do you read each day? What are your routines and habits? How can you slow down your own reading such that you not only take in information but enjoy the ride?

A Refreshingly New Approach to Personal Growth

I’m reading through David Brooks’ The Road to Character and it’s a gem.  He pulls the curtain back on several key people in history, including President Eisenhower, Victor Frankl and Frances Perkins. 

“Occasionally, even today, you come across certain people who seem to possess an impressive inner cohesion.”

— David Brooks

The chapter on self conquest hit me.

For generations, people of faith have applied the following prescriptions to their personal foibles and even sins:

1. Try harder
2. Don’t do that
3. Be holy
4. Try harder again

In Brooks’ discusscusion about prior generations and their vocabulary of sinfulness, he articulates a more sophisticated (yet still simple) approach to personal failing:

“Some sins, like anger and lust, are like wild beasts.  They have to be fought through habits of restraint.  Other sins, such as mockery and disrespect are like stains.  They can be expunged only through absolution…The sins of arrogance and pride arise from a perverse desire for status and superiority.  The only remedy for them is to humble oneself before others."

Becoming, as Matthew Kelly calls it, the “best version of yourself” is hard work.  It takes practice, patience and compassion towards yourself.  If you mess up, read Brooks’ book for strategies and perspectives for personal growth.

The Surprising Ingredient to a Great Day

When was the last time you had a truly great day?  What did it look like and if you could, wouldn't you like to repeat it at a moment's notice?

I know that I would. 

This past weekend was Memorial Day in the States and the weather was perfect here in Jersey.  Parades, barbecues and sprinklers for the kids... absolutely perfect! 

What made the three days off from work even better was the fact that I was coming off of a few tough weeks of work.  May is very busy for school leaders and graduation is right around the corner.   

Surprisingly enough, the key ingredient was a complete lack of hurrying. No rushing around.  No hurried pace.  No frantic running of errands. 

Leisure is like that.  It's full of margin.

Joseph Peiper, the famous philosopher said this about leisure: 

“Leisure is only possible when we are at one with ourselves. We tend to overwork as a means of self-escape, as a way of trying to justify our existence.”  Josef Pieper, Leisure: The Basis Of Culture

When we have a great day, we are typically experiencing a balanced view of work and the rest of life.  Things seem to be "in check".  Life makes sense.  

The lack of hurry is critical.  If you want to have a great day at a moment's notice, you'll need to cut down on the hurrying around that is part of so much of daily life. 

It's tough to enjoy leisure when you're in a hurry.

Less hurry, more balance.  

Reclaim Your Calm During Holy Week

 This post originally was published for Speak Digital, my weekly newsletter.  You can subscribe for free here.

Holy Week, at least for many Christians around the world, is finally here. Beginnning on the Sunday prior to Easter (often called Palm Sunday), Holy Week is often seen as a span of seven days that is ideal for those of us who want to unplug and refocus. I really like this take on Lent, the period leading up to Holy Week.

Why unplug?

1. You need a break from your regular schedule.
2. You're tired of social media.
3. "Quiet" seems to make sense this time of the year.
4. You want to focus on prayer, family, and sabbath-keeping.

Why refocus?

1. Refocusing is normal to do several times per year.
2. Stress takes us off-track and tuckers us out.
3. For people of faith, certain times of the year enable a greater spiritual awareness.
4. Everyone takes their eye off the ball at one point or another.

All of this came together one morning this past week. I've been wrestling with headaches and overall tiredness all during Lent. During my morning commute, I came across Chad Brooks, the man behind The Productive Pastor Podcast. (you should check it out!)

In one episode with JD Walt, he makes a case for a sustained and honorable sabbath. JD and Walt argue that a "good" sabbath is one that feeds the soul rather than just a day a week that we cram with errands and a to-do list that's overflowing with chores. I was convicted. Being in a doctoral program has "blessed" me with more pressure than ever to write, research and meet my deadlines. As a result, I've been working, in one way or another, seven days a week for a long time. Not good.

What about you? Have you been taking a day off each week to feed your soul, rest your body and renew your mind?

How about this, during this year's Holy Week (which starts today), take the challenge to unplug. You can do this very easily and I suspect that, in a week's time, you'll be glad you did:

1. Cut down on social media. If you really have to use it, just check it once a day. If you can afford to stay off it altogether, go for it.
2. Don't let email take over. Again, as with #1, check it once or twice a day but that's it. Turn off all dings and notifications.
3. Give solitude a big hug. Get outdoors. Go to the ocean. Visit a mountain. Spend time in church. Get quiet by getting away. It's hard to listen when things are noisy.
4. Practice the Jim Eliot principle. The missionary Eliot once said, "Wherever you are, be all there." Whatever you decide to do this week, be fully present. God is right there in the middle of whatever is on your plate right now. Suffering, joy, success, struggle- He's there.

I can't wait to experience an extended sabbath this Holy Week. With some practice and a gentle refocusing, it might be a stretch of seven days that allows you to unplug and refocus on what's really important. Go for it!