One could be a productive parent in a number of ways. My friend and his wife have eight healthy children. That's pretty impressive. A neighbor with only two children, now grown, has built a family culture in which both kids and their kids arrive each Friday night for pizza and a movie. That's productive as well.
I was at the my town library the other night and my 9 year old signed up for an event later in the month. As I was supervising the other little ones, I witnessed something amazing and gave myself an invisible pat on the back.
My child was writing herself a reminder note. I gave her a look and she said matter-of-factly, "Dad, how else will I remember this?" Simple as that.
What are you trusting to remind yourself (and maybe those around you too?) of upcoming events or actions?
Here in NJ, our world has been turned upside down by several tragic events. In the Gulf area, residents are feeling the same way only due to the oil spill and its countless side effects. It's very normal to be shaken up, disoriented and even depressed. The key is to press through that stage into some form of normal.
This journey, however is not an easy one. It is deeply spiritual as it will test the very depths of a person's character and will invite them to call on God for help. Here are some suggestions for getting back to normal:
Surround yourself with support. By phone, in person or online, seek those who will love you and support you in your grief. Even if your grief feels small, it's important to talk it through with someone who has "been there and done that". Facebook, with all of its shortcomings, is very effective for this as a Fan Page or Group can spring up in hours with literally thousands of supporters.
Maintain good eating, sleeping and grooming habits. Rather than turn to alcohol or other stimulants, maintaining good eating habits and getting enough sleep are both critical to this process. Give yourself permission to rest, taking care of yourself and keeping your living space in good working condition.
Go to places of order. Psychologists tell us that supermarkets and department stores are effective places for those seeking order. Have you ever noticed that you don't even think when you go to the market? That's because you know where everything is and in a time of tragedy, these places are of value. Whether you need some items or not, markets are helpful places in times of tragedy.
Allow yourself to "resume" life. Many times we don't want to resume normalcy during or after a time of tragedy. We feel as if we should still be sad or be in desperation. Give yourself permission to get back to work, do the things you did before tragedy struck and resume normalcy.
Prepare for the unexpected. Know that a moment will come, when you don't expect it, that will shake you up and remind you of tragedy and loss. This is where prayer comes in so that you can anticipate painful reminders of loss that will occur in the future. Colossians 1:24 says, "Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church."
Jesus knows what tragedy is all about and is at the side of all suffering throughout the world. Calling on Him in prayer is key when you are trying to resume normalcy so that life can go on.
I arrived home today to faces filled with excitement. A homemade "surprise" sign was on the bedroom door and I was eventually ushered in to see the Project of the Day. New paint on the wall and an entire room appeared larger than when I had left it in the morning.
Call it a Father's Day gift or just a moment of inspiration; all I could think of was GTD as I applied the finishing touches on the room. Apparently, my kids and even my wife are "getting it". My wife said over dinner a while later, "it just feels good to finish the room and move on to the next project."
How are you teaching your family about Getting Things Done? A simple way of modeling is to practice GTD yourself. Then, when approaching household projects, try to apply the one-thing-at-a-time rule as well as the art of finishing what you began. To take it a step further, involve everyone in the project. You'll get more done and the entire family will know who David Allen is.
Your organization may be a Fortune 500 firm. Or a family of five. It doesn't matter really because when you get right down to it, organizations need the same thing- vision, discipline, love and balance.
In our family organization, my wife and I try to instill in our kids that "one thing at a time" makes a lot of sense. My daughter plays the recorder. That's her one thing until the next season when she might do karate or take swimming lessons. What we don't want is for her to do three or four things at a time and then we become a full-time chauffeur service.
In my work organization, I try to take work-life balance seriously enough that it becomes tangible. We use the phrase in our promotional materials and we've found that it helps to recruit top talent. I also try to model it as the CEO of the school. As I have 2-3 late night meetings per week, my team knows that the following morning I'll probably come in an hour later. That allows me to see my kids, take them to school and have just a little breathing room. A friend of mine who is the Secretary of Education in a nearby city does the same. Work/life balance in action.
How about you? What are you doing to teach your family about boundaries, limits and balance? How about in your work life- what can you do today to instill in your people a sense of balance?
Prior to Easter, I was feeling a bit strained so I decided to "go dark" (in software developer's language) and go offline for a few weeks. I figured that with Holy Week and then a vacation with my family, it was the perfect time to hit the pause button and unplug.
Little did I know that I would enjoy it so much.
With Twitter, email, voicemail and weekly blog posts, it's safe to say that I'm pretty well connected. Here are some things I learned as I now gradually ease back into digital life:
It's not that difficult. You just do it, plain and simple. For those who feel they can't, try it. You may be surprised.
It's helpful to tell folks that you're going offline. My blog post from March 29 explained to readers that I was shutting things down in order to reconnect with the Lord and my family. Those are hard to argue with and friends were very supportive.
You enjoy time with family and friends more. When you're not worried about Twitter or email, time is freed up to have quality time with those you love.
You're not fully out of reach for emergencies. With my role at work, I can't afford to be 100% out of reach so some folks know how to get hold of me. That's just how it has to be in the digital world and it's ok. No one abused the sabbatical by calling me every twenty minutes to see how things were going.
You learn more deeply about the importance of sabbatical. Honoring sabbath is still a relevant concept and makes a whole lot of sense.
It's good to gradually enter back into the fold. Like all fasts, it's good to ease back into things. I chose Twitter as this means and started posting items last week.
So how do I feel now that I'm back online? More energetic, more ready to tackle the challenges of life. More connected with God and family.
If you're feeling overwhelmed or tired, why not try a digital fast for a week or two?
I went to public school up until attending the Catholic University of America for my undergraduate degree. By all accounts, I turned out just fine so why am I a Catholic school leader who now advocates for private schooling?
Good question. As a parent, I now see the value of a private school. The culture in which we live has become increasingly hostile towards Christian values so my wife and I have sought out environments where they can grow academically and spiritually. We're both public school products but also see the value of a faith-based approach to education. When my son comes home and teaches me a prayer he learned in school, I know that my tuition dollars are making a difference.
There is a growing body of evidence that faith-based schools are not only an alternative to public schools but in some cases actually better, depending on the child. President Obama just announced his attempt at education reform but like many presidents before him, money will not solve the problem. We've tried that approach but as it turns out, funding is only one aspect of education.
John Stossel of Fox Business offers a series of intriguing discussions about schooling in America. His point is simple: let the money follow the student. Rather than a state-sponsored school system which controls the money, let the student choose where he wants to go. Tell inner city kids this and they support overwhelmingly both charter schools and voucher programs. Part VI of his series on schools is titled, "Competition Leads to Innovation" and I've included it below:
Stossel is not alone in advocating for change. The Chancellors of both New York City and Washington, DC are advocating major overhauls of their respective systems. They've found that it's nearly impossible to remove a bad public school teacher. It appears they're on to something.
I fully acknowledge that private schools, including Catholic schools, are not immune to problems such as struggling teachers. And yet, the data has supported for quite some time that charter and Catholic schools are producing results.
Why would you choose an alternative to a public school? I offer six qualities that I feel are of great value in a faith-based school. They include:
Faith-based values.
Culture of discipline.
Family atmosphere.
Competition.
Attentiveness to the whole person.
Accountability.
Interested in learning more?
If you'd like to read my new white paper on faith-based schools, send me an email and I'm happy to forward you a PDF copy: mondayqb (at) gmail (dot) com
One could be a productive parent in a number of ways. My friend and his wife have eight healthy children. That's pretty impressive. A neighbor with only two children, now grown, has built a family culture in which both kids and their kids arrive each Friday night for pizza and a movie. That's productive as well.
I went to public school up until attending the Catholic University of America for my undergraduate degree. By all accounts, I turned out just fine so why am I a Catholic school leader who now advocates for private schooling?