A Teenager’s Take on Prayer and Christian Living

I am very blessed to live in a Catholic diocese which has lots of priests and churches, all within a five minute drive. To date, I’ve not met a “bad” priest. Each is likely doing his best to live out his vocation, share his faith and lead those entrusted to his care.

As for their ability to preach, this varies greatly. That’s not unique to this part of the country. Rather, it’s a blind spot for much of the Catholic Church in the United States. We’ve put entirely too little attention to the skill of preaching. As a result, the quality is spotty and one week, you may enjoy a great homily while the next week could leave you scratching your head.

As for those who try and downplay the importance of the priest’s message during Mass under the guise of “we’re not here to be entertained”, I call BS. This is actually a smoke-screen for those that have a limited understanding of the human experience of Mass.

“Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.”

— St. Benedict

While we don’t need a laser-light show when we worship or vegan cookies in the narthex after Mass, a good parish (and their priests) understand the value of hospitality, music, and yes, good preaching. They don’t ignore it out of respect for the people.

Think about it- an “average” Catholic will go to Mass once or twice a month. The homily is likely to be the only bit of spiritual encouragement they’ll receive all month. They are not being encouraged via social media or the internet or their favorite news website. As a result, the homily is of vital importance. And, within a Catholic context at least, there is so much emphasis on personal sin and evil that the homily is critically important for speaking and encouraging word.

That brings me to the wisdom of a 13 year old, my 13 year old.

At a recent Mass for her Catholic school, it was clear that the priest was promoting a sort of therapeutic moral deism- God is out there and wants you to be nice. I doubt the priest (who is actually a super nice man) even knew that he was preaching in this way. After all, we give our priests so little feedback that it’s hard for them to know that they are doing a good (or bad) job. 

Later that day, my daughter commented on the priest’s message in this way, “Our priests need to get some new messages! It’s the same thing over and over- be nice, be polite, listen to your mom and dad.”

What was she really saying?

In my mind, she was calling for help. As a 13 year old in a Christian home, she knows that it’s important to be nice and to listen to her parents. The challenge is HOW to do this and how to go beyond niceness into personal discipleship.

Isn’t this the goal, after all? 

• A personal relationship with Christ that transforms our lives? 

• A lifestyle that looks different from those of others? 

• An ethic of living that desires to help others in need?

My 13 year old was echoing, though she didn’t know it, an ache found in many of us. We need less what and more HOW. We know God loves us. Show me what that looks like. We know that prayer is important. Show me how to do it. We know that the Church can be a force for good. Show me how the People of God can make a practical difference in the world.

For Follow Up

This is going to be challenging for most of us but I encourage you to give your parish priests more feedback when it comes to their preaching. Be kind, be brief and remember that most of them are doing the best they can. They have been raised up as priests in a system with literally no feedback.

Second, as you return to daily prayer, remember to ask the Lord to show you how to live out your faith. As you pour over the words of Scripture, ask the Lord to show you how it applies to your messy, beautiful daily life.

Show us Lord how to live like you…

What Makes a Homily “Good”?

Each of us have a different opinion about those that preach and the words they say. Admittedly, we have our biases. Some of us like a homily that is brief. Others prefer something with a bit of humor. Still others are perfectly content in the absence of a homily.

I should mention that if you’re a reader of the blog and aren’t Catholic, a homily is a fancy word for a sermon, typically delivered after the reading of the Gospel at Mass.

Back to the topic at hand- good preaching. Good preachers are very rare. As a result, most homilies aren’t particularly strong. I used to be shy about this topic but after decades of kind assessment, it’s time for us to name the elephant in the room.

We need better preaching.

While Catholics understand that no preacher is perfect and that the Mass is more than the homily, that shouldn’t mean that we settle for low quality preaching. Deacons, priests and bishops shouldn’t settle either. Maybe, in charity, we can hold one another to a higher standard.

I met a priest a few years ago who boasted of his lack of preparation related to preaching. “I just step behind the ambo and let the Holy Spirit tell me what to say…” Apparently, the Holy Spirit wasn’t saying too much based on his preaching. This approach is a cop-out and a misunderstanding of preaching. Of course the Holy Spirit can inspire a preacher in-the-moment but that shouldn’t be at the expense of sound preparation.

It’s ultimately about a combination of the Holy Spirit’s direction and personal preparation.

This isn’t about perfection. Who among us can be held to that standard? Still, we should receive better preaching than is typically offered in a daily or Sunday Mass. Better is what we are aiming for. Progress is our goal.

What makes for a good homily? Of course that depends on whom you ask. For my money, this is what I’d like to see in each homily:

• An outline: a clear sense of one thought that flows to another; there is a beginning and an end. Tell people what you’ll be talking about, talk about it and then remind people what you’ve just talked about. People like that.

• Brevity: not in the 1-2 minutes sense but regarding the idea that a good concept shouldn’t take 20 minutes to deliver. A daily Mass homily can be between 2-4 minutes. A Sunday Mass homily can stretch to 7-9 minutes. Is it possible that a gifted preacher can go longer? Sure. Still, in my experience, it’s better to aim for brief. Get to the point. Be succinct. Know the key point you’re trying to make. Force your mind to get clear and then marry that clarity with your words.

• Depth: let’s skip homilies that encourage us to be nice or flirt with grand concepts. Give us the goods and help us go deeper today with the Lord than we did yesterday. A homily is a place to hold folks to a high standard. I recommend avoiding “grenades” in preaching. It’s perfectly acceptable to talk about abortion or any of the Church’s other “hot button” topics. It’s not ok to drop a bomb and walk away. If you want/need to address a difficult topic, do so with charity and if possible, use a series of homilies to ramp up to the topic and then ramp down from it.

• Personal: not all about the preacher but let’s have homilists that reveal something about themselves. “I can relate to this idea…” or “I once had an experience related to this…” No need to reveal deep, dark secrets but personal reflection on the topic is very useful. Plus, people want to get to know their preachers. We want to see that they’re human, like us. By using every day examples, listeners can better relate to what their priest or deacon is saying.

• Practical: I think that most (although not all…) people who go to Mass know that God loves them. The hard part is to put that reality into action. Think of the typical layperson- stressed, disorganized and anxious. How can a homily meet them where they are and also point them towards excellence and holiness? Give practical, simple examples of how the Gospel influences daily living. Give them hope and remind them of the richness of our faith and the awesome power of God.

This is a hard topic. There’s a need for compassion for the art of preaching and I write this as someone who isn’t a preacher.

We should pray for our homilists, that God would gift them with solid preparation and key insights. Let’s encourage those that preach and give them charitable feedback when we can. With that said, I’d like to hold up good preaching and encourage other laypeople to do the same.

Building Simple Habits that Foster Spiritual Growth

In my 2014 Reader Survey, one bit of feedback that I received from many readers dealt with the issue of spiritual growth.  They told me that the love the productivity topics but also appreciate an occasional reflection on the spiritual life.

In this post, I thought I would share the planks that are part of my daily walk with God.  Keep in mind that these might not apply for all readers.  They've just been helpful to me and if that is an encouragement to you, great!

Daily Routines:

1. Morning quiet time.  This includes reading the daily Mass readings, doing some journaling in Day One and some quiet time.  I need to remind myself to occasionally shut up and just let God speak into my heart.  I love to stare out the window and appreciate nature.  This step typically happens in my home office or at the kitchen table.  I might also work through a full-length book.  (for more on that topic, read this)
2. Mid-day break.  There's nothing better than 15-20 minutes alone in the middle of the day.  I like to take my lunch and head over to a local park near where I work.  Every time, without fail, I return to work with more energy and ready to tackle phone calls or whatever. 
3. Evening reading.  Of the three daily routines, this is the one that I struggle with most.  I'm trying to read through a book in the Bible and enjoy The Message translation for this part of the day.

Weekly Routines:

Our family goes to church on Sunday or Saturday night.  The time varies depending on our schedule.  We have two churches that are close by and are a part of our worshiping habit.

Monthly Routines:

• Missionary Cenacle Apostolate: Cary and I have found the Missionary Cenacle Apostolate to be an excellent compliment to weekly worship.  We meet with our local group once a month for support and to reflect on the writings of Fr. Thomas Judge, who founded the MCA.  
• Spiritual direction: of all of the routines mentioned in this list, the one that has had the single greatest impact on my life is this one.  I visit with a priest who is trained as a spiritual director.  He knows me better than anyone and can tell when it's time to encourage me or kick my butt (not literally).  I can't overstate how powerful this has been in my walk with Christ.

Quarterly Routines:

• Quarterly, personal offsite meeting: my assistant schedules a day each quarter when I'm off campus and can do some higher level work.  This is really work specific but I find it to be a spiritual practice as well. 

Annual Routines:

• Annual retreat: you've got to find out what works for you in this category.  I like to get away by myself and either attend a conference or head off to a quiet place.  This year I attended Catalyst Atlanta and it was truly amazing.  

Making a list like this is part humbling and hopefully, part helpful.  I am (and you can ask my family on this!) a work in progress and the farthest thing from perfect.  The routines I've provided have worked for me and hopefully will work for you.  Spiritual growth is about making progress, plain and simple.  It's about reminding yourself that God is God and you are not.  It's about a personal relationship with God that is active and moves you to love others more fully.  

Attention to one's spiritual life is perhaps the most important aspect of one's day, week or month.  

Sunday Night Reflections: Trinity Sunday

Today's Mass was long, really long and yet it was incredibly uplifting. While my wife and I spent the time tag-teaming our little ones both in the pew and back in the narthex. It always amazes me how I can focus, unfocus and then refocus- all because of the kids. Gift and challenge.

Some thoughts based on today's celebration:

• Homily: Deacon Brian delivered a terrific homily! I've never heard him preach and he was calm, focused and practical. Why doesn't this guy preach more often?


• Application: Brian recommended a simple, three minute practice for the end of the day. Spend the first minute thanking the Father for your highlight, talk to the Son about your struggle point and ask the Spirit for guidance for the following day's demands. Powerful and to the point. Thanks Brian!


• Baptism: little Luke Andrew was baptized today and Fr. Leonardo was his usual, spirited self. It's always inspiring when the priest lifts the child high above his head and presents the baby to his new community. Of course I did lean over to my daughter and whisper, "Don't drop the baby". Hey, I'm practical and safety conscious.


• School: we acknowledged today the first graduating class of St. Vincent's School. An elderly nun and a dozen of her students- amazing group of people!


• Song: our contemporary choir is so gifted and really shined today. They even hosted a religious sister who was the soloist for How Beautiful.

All things considered, today's celebration of Trinity Sunday was phenomenal. Is it because I was on the lookout for material for Sunday's night's post? I don't think so. I just sensed the Spirit at work on so many levels.

*Photo by Bernardoh