What Contributes to a Good Quiet Time?

May 3, 2018 Mike StPierre

You sit down to pray and your mind is racing a thousand miles a minute. A sound bothers you. Your stomach rumbles. What was going to be a nice time of prayer is quickly slipping away...

Can you relate?

We’ve talked a lot about the components of a morning quiet time. There are tried and true “parts” to this ancient practice.

What we might take for granted, especially when it comes to morning prayer, are the other factors that can impact a morning quiet time.

I think of the story from St. Therese of Lisieux. During prayers in the chapel, another sister would make a sort of clacking noise which Therese found quite distracting. While at first an annoyance, she found a way to turn the sister’s peculiarities into something pleasant. Over time, she would look forward to the other sister’s noise.

By the way, I had a college roommate who snored like you can’t imagine. A train (snoring) literally came through our room each night! Unlike Therese, I didn’t have the virtue to see his snoring as a gift.

Back to the topic at hand- which factors contribute to your morning quiet time?

Here are four that stand out for me:

1. Sound. What’s going on around you? Are you alone? Is anyone else nearby? How about environmental sounds like birds outside or a train passing by... take note of these things.

2. How you are feeling physically? Are you hungry or tired? Does anything pain you? How is your posture? Take note of these things.

3. Temperature. Are you cold? Hot? Do you need to take off your jacket? Is your belt too tight? Take note of these things.

4. Desire. As you enter into prayer, are you feeling as if you want to pray? Does it feel routine today? Are you happy about this experience? Take note of these things.

We could add probably a dozen other things that impact your daily quiet time. The key is to take note of things, both inside you and outside of you. Then, as with all things, offer the moment and your heart up to the Lord. He will take care of the rest.

10 Strategies for Minimizing Distractions at Church

April 24, 2018 Mike StPierre

There’s a lot going on at church and it can be distracting. I imagine that for priests, it takes all of the charity in them to have patience with those that come to church.

Think about it,

• People arrive late

• Phones go off

• No one sits in the front rows

• People read the bulletin during Mass

• People are chewing gum

• And the list goes on and on!

Notice that I didn’t add crying babies to the list- at least they have a good excuse for not paying attention to what’s happening while church is “in session”. The rest of us? Not so much.

From a prayer perspective, church is hard. We feel like we should be able to pray while we are at Mass. We probably want to pray but there are just so many distractions. It’s also hard to simply leave our busy lives at the door and then flip the switch into prayer mode.

As you can imagine, I do have some recommendations for how you can make your next visit to church more prayerful.

1. Leave your phone in the car. Unless it’s the dead of winter (or summer) and you deliver babies for a living, you can probably get away with leaving your phone in the car.

2. Check yourself before walking in the door. Take a breath. Remember that your life is about to take on new meaning. Pause.

3. Make a profound sign of the cross. Don’t rush through this ancient practice of the church. Make a slow sign of the cross.

4. Give yourself permission to close your eyes. Not while you’re walking! Rather, when you are kneeling or sitting in prayer, give yourself permission to listen, to pray and to be focused with your eyes closed.

5. Choose a spot that will minimize distractions. This will, of course, depend on your church. One church I visit has a terrible spot right by the air conditioning floor vents while another is too close to the choir. Find a spot that works for you.

6. At the sign of peace, make someone’s day with a smile. Don’t rush through this moment... make a brief connection through your joyful smile.

7. Listen with eagerness to the readings. Really enter into this moment and use the books in the pew if that is helpful.

8. As you are walking up for communion, develop a prayer mantra. Ask God to make you a better person. Tell Him how you feel about your relationship with Him.

9. After communion, enter into this moment. Close your eyes and just be with the Lord. This is sacred time.

10. 10 minutes after Mass, try to remember that you’ve just received the Lord in communion. I often forget that I’m supposed to live, in faith, as a changed man after I have received communion. Be mindful of this. Speak with charity. Express gratitude. Be patient with yourself and others.

What strategy would you add to this list? How do you minimize distractions at church?

5 Steps To Praying More in 2018

December 31, 2017 Mike StPierre

So you want to pray more in 2018?

Just like those that want to exercise more or save more money in the New Year, there are a lot of us who also want to be more prayerful. The catch, and there’s always a catch, is that it’s easier said than done.

A desire needs a bit more to become a reality.

Still, a seed of desire is a good starting point to a more prayerful “you” in 2018. St. Therese calls prayer a “surge of the heart”- that sure sounds like desire-language to me! If you have a desire to pray more, that’s fantastic so let’s explore it further.

Once you have the inclination to be more prayerful, what do you do about it? I suggest a couple of things to get you going:

Pick an app. As you can see from my Productivity Awards list, I recommend either Magnificat or Give Us This Day. If you’d prefer a free option, go with Laudate.
Decide on a time of day. For most of us, mornings are the best time of day to pray. There’s just less resistance in the morning and it also feels great to start your day with some personal time with God.
Decide on your location. This isn’t a fancy step but still an important one. Will you pray at the kitchen table or in a chapel at church? Will you find a comfortable chair in your living room that looks out on your backyard? Where in your life can you find a quiet spot to be with God every day at a particular time? For me, it’s typically in a chair in my living room, listening to the birds begin their day just outside.
Decide on your ritual or practice. You know when you go to church and the service (or Mass for us Catholics!) begins the same way every single week? Those repeated signs trigger your mind and heart into a different point of focus, i.e. “this is prayer time”. You can do this at home by lighting a candle, making the sign of the cross or saying the same thing each time you start. I like to begin with “O God come to my assistance, Lord make haste to help me” which I’ve borrowed from the Liturgy of the Hours. Find what works for you and then use it each and every time you pray.
Revisit your journal. A journal is a great place to “ponder” things. Writing makes you more reflective, more grateful and can improve your intimacy with God. Just let it flow- don’t try to impress anyone or be perfect. The point is to talk to God through your writing (or typing via an app) and “turn over” your heart a few times.

These are five simple tips for a more prayerful you in the New Year. I can’t wait to hear of your success stories!

A New Definition of Silence

December 17, 2017 Mike StPierre

Silence is hard to find. It’s either the noise in our head, the noise through our technology or the noise via our hectic schedules.

Some would say that silence is actually impossible since the absence of noise might be impossible except for a few remote spots on planet Earth.

If that’s the case, then how might we define silence in a prayerful way? I describe it the following way, “the intentional and uninterrupted state that you choose in order to be mindful of the presence of God.”

Let’s break it down further:

-intentional: in other words, you choose it. You take a few moments to be quiet and still. This can be anywhere and anytime but it’s always deliberate. Sometimes a quiet space chooses you. You are going for a hike and the vista nearly arrests you. It takes your breath away.

-uninterrupted: in other words, there is focus. This can be for only a moment but it’s a silence that captures your heart and your mind. In this way, the silence isn’t forever but for a distinct period of time... and then it ends. Its ending is either the result of your choice or the noise from outside that breaks the silence.

-mindful of the presence of God: in other words, the silence brings you into deeper awareness of God’s presence. You become grateful for something- grateful to God. You gain a new insight- an insight from God. You process your heart and your thoughts- all so that you can be drawn further into relationship with God.

If silence is found in this way, through an intentional pause from the noise of the world, it can be discovered in ordinary moments. As you go through your week, where will you choose to find silence and how will God use it to bring you closer to Him?

The One Todo List That Will Actually Help You Pray

November 19, 2017 Mike StPierre

I had a nagging feeling. It would come back several times a week and pester me, reminding me of various things that I had forgotten to do. Each time, I would jot something down on a notepad and then schedule some time to do it.

Then, I decided that I was tired of the nagging.

I remembered a trick that I had heard of years before. The waiting for list. I made one for work and another for home.

In the waiting for list I've added things like:

Remind Cary to fill out the application form
Hear back from the high school re: the recommendation
My parents to get me their arrival flight information

Besides getting rid of the nagging thoughts in my head, I've found the waiting for list to be helpful in prayer. By putting various things on the list, my head is more clear and I'm worrying less.

“We do not want to be beginners. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all our life!”

— Thomas Merton

When your head is clear, you're less distracted when you go to pray. This is the perfect intersection of prayer and productivity.

What's on your waiting for list?

What to do When Your Prayer Life Falls Apart

November 18, 2017 Mike StPierre

If you’re reading this, you have some affinity to prayer. Either out of curiosity or a desire to be a better practitioner, each of us has some sense of “praying well”.

Unfortunately, praying well isn’t as easy as we might like it to be. This may be due to inconsistency or a lack of confidence or an inability to focus. Whatever the case, we want progress and if you’re an American, you want fast progress that you can measure.

But, as 14th century mystic Meister Eckhart indicated, much of the spiritual life is about subtraction, not addition and certainly not measurement. Our efforts can fall flat when we don’t “see” progress. ‘

As Eckhart says, “God expects but one thing of you, and that is that you should come out of yourself in so far as you are a created being made and let God be God in you.” At first glance, this can sound like the stuff of fluffy spirituality, sort of like a “let God be God” approach to life.

But look deeper at the quote.

Prayer, as a means to an end, is just that- a lever through which a relationship can grow. Our relationship with God uses prayer as a means of communication and intimacy. When our prayer life falls apart, we can fear that our relationship with God is faltering as well.

I can relate to this through a recent personal story.

As I am the early riser in our family, morning dog care has become my responsibility. While I don’t mind the chore, it has wreaked havoc on my morning routine. Instead of coffee, a Bible and a journal for 30 minutes, I’m taking out the dog, feeding him and then making sure he doesn’t have an accident. It’s an odd process- feed, wait, watch, wait some more. This doesn’t make for a calming morning routine.

Lessons learned

First, a settling reassurance from God that this “season” won’t last forever. Having had Ace (our puppy) for a month, I can see that the strong foundation of prayer which existed before Ace has propelled me through this time of regrounding a morning routine. Quite amazingly, I haven’t gotten discouraged and have found other times during the day in which to pray. Not ideal but better than nothing.

Second, and this is thanks to some wise counsel from my spiritual director, I’ve been able to reframe my morning routine into a prayerful experience. This is the funny part of the story. I am what you might call “kitchen challenged” but thankfully, I married a woman who is a wonderful cook.

Over the years, my attempts at cooking dinner (or any other meal for that matter) have been greeted by polite tolerance from my children. Still, I dabble occasionally and keep trying to improve.

In the month since we’ve had Ace, I discovered a chunk of time in the morning (30 minutes) which used to be reserved for morning prayer. As the adorable and demanding puppy has now claimed that time slot, I wondered if I could use the rest of the 30 minutes for something else.

Why not make a hot breakfast for everyone?

The first thought of this was hilarious. Remember, I can’t really cook that well. But, when people are tired, they will eat almost anything. So, without fear, I ventured into the kitchen and decided to re-use what had been my morning routine into cooking.

The results have been decent and on some days, rather wonderful.

Blueberry muffins.
Bacon.
Pancakes.
Cranberry muffins.
Sugar cookies.

After a week, the kids are now asking what the next morning breakfast will entail. It’s become a game of sorts.

Another discovery from this is the awareness that I might be able to use this time of cooking as a time of praying. To be fair, when you are busy in the kitchen you are typically stirring, measuring and paying attention to your ingredients. But, with some intentionality, you can (as I have) turn this simple act of cooking into a pure act of praying.

Here's how it works

Here’s how it works: first I put out the ingredients, then I put on my Dad Apron, then I make the sign of the cross and ask God to turn my cooking into praying, then I go to work. The final product, even if imperfect, is something wonderful.

I won’t go so far as to say that “God and I cooked this for you” but you get the point.

What I’ve learned is that yes, there are times in your life when your prayer life really falls apart. This will happen to each of us at some point. If it hasn’t yet hit you, I dare say “get ready”. When a mom has a baby, things get crazy. When you get into a car crash and have to recover, things get crazy. When you are traveling or on vacation, things can get crazy.

If you can let God turn the crazy into something new and different, you'll be ok.

By taking the long view and then reframing how I thought of prayer, things have now settled and I’m finding new rhythms for prayer. New spaces are opening up in my day that I didn’t see before. God is being God in me and I’m learning, once again, to graciously get out of His way.

And of course four children plus a puppy are getting to enjoy fresh muffins each morning.

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